Home!

We're back! Last night they tried full strength feeds on Brooke, that didn't go so well. She had some dry heaving, gagging and alot of diarrhea. The good thing they got the stool studies and she doesn't have any of the virus' we were thinking. She does have some sort of stomach virus, but the only thing to do is wait and keep her hydrated. Today we went back to 1/2 strength feeds and she tolerated those, so we will continue to try that through the weekend, then bump her up as tolerated. She also had a CAT scan. Her chest looked good. It did not show any blood clots, so the MD's have to decide if we continue with her blood thinners or stop them. We'll see what they say next week. They also did a CT of her sinus' and that showed a sinus infection. She will start an antibiotic for that.

The poor little lady has, rhino virus (the common cold), a sinus infection (probably from the cold), and stomach virus. That sucks!! When ya look at all that, she acts really well. She is happy to be home and fighting with her sisters. Our hope is by Wednesday she is back to full strength feds. That is the day we follow up in clinic.

We are blessed beyond comprehension with family, friends and caring people surrounding us. The Spa crew is amazing! So caring and compassionate. Everyone has expressed how sad it is that we were at the spa on Thanksgiving. It's really ok! First of all, Brooke hates to eat, so a big meal would not make her happy. Second, the nurses have to work and we'd feel bad if they were all alone. The only holiday Brooke has not been inpatient yet is Memorial day. She tends to like festivities up there. However, the real reason it's "ok" is because we have her! When you spend anytime on a Children's cancer floor you see devastation. You see families that don't get to keep their children. A mom told me once she would do anything to sit at the hospital and hold her son. She said, "those were the good days because we were together." So together it is! It doesn't matter where. We can make turkey any day as long as we are together. There is always something to be thankful for. Sometimes we just have to look beyond ourselves!!

Still here...

What I am Thankful for!!!!!!!!!!

Day 2.......still here. Steve and I both knew that the big man, aka Dr. Mageed :) wouldn't let Miss Brooke go home so soon. As much as we want her home and she is doing well, she has not tolerated full feedings yet. She had half strength feedings today and they went well. Tonight we tried the full strength formula. She made it through half of the feedings before she started dry heaving. So not sure what that means yet? It means she isn't 100% yet, but she's getting there. This morning Macy got up and checked Brooke's bed and the pack n play, then walked up to me and said "mom, where's Brookie?" OHHHHH!! Poor honey! Macy and Brooke did chat on the phone and we all came up this afternoon so Steve and I could switch spots. Brooke cried when they left and said "I go to!!" She loves her sisters so much. Overall she is doing well up here. She doesn't seem to mind too much. Unfortunately her IV didn't last and they had to put a new one in this morning and they had some issues getting her labs, but we hope we can prevent some of that tomorrow. They are checking into a CAT scan tomorrow. I assume it's to check her veins in her neck (because that's what they always check). So we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Steve told Brooke she was having a "picture" taken today and they did xrays. Now she HATES pictures. :)

"When your mind is occupied with thanking Me, you have no time for worrying or complaining." "Draw near to Me with a grateful heart, and My presence will fill you with joy and peace."

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances: for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ."

It's always a great reminder! God gives us our guides and answers in times of trials. We just need to remember to look to Him. What a perfect day to do that! Today and everyday.

Happy Thanksgiving! (almost)

Thanksgiving is around the corner. It took me a while to figure out why people kept posting on Facebook things they are Thankful for. I think Thanksgiving just snuck up on me. I can't believe the Holidays are here! When I was in middle school and high school I can remember thinking time NEVER moved! I would be stuck that age FOREVER!! Now I can't slow it down. I don't care if I age so much, but I LOVE the ages of my kids and I want to soak it all in. There is always something to laugh at, or someone. I am thankful for each and everyone of them. For teaching us daily about how to be parents and how to allow God's love and grace to lead us through each day. I'm thankful for our parents, for solid christian upbringings, unconditional love and support. My parents have been my rock! They believed in me, when I didn't believe in myself. They listened, cried and supported me. My dad always has a "phrase" (either real or made up :) telling me how I CAN do anything I put my heart and mind to. I want to be that kind of parent to my kids.

Onto Miss Brooke......I actually typed this yesterday but didn't post it. So today I must edit :) Brooke has had a virus brewing since last week. We thought she was teething, then realized when Macy was heave hoeing that is was a stomach virus. It's been a little rough the last couple days trying to keep fluids down her. She's had diarrhea and dry heaving. So we open her stomach button and out comes the goods. Today she laid around. She moved from living room to kitchen to bathroom floors and just slept. As bad as it sounds, she actually looked pretty good. So do ya call, or wait?!?!?! Macy got over it in 12 hours, Brooke was working on 6 days. OK I called but said, "she is not admission worthy." Well I don't make the final decision, I just drive her around :) So she's going to hang at the "spa" aka, Devos Children's hospital, only for a day or 2. Get some fluids and then we can restart her feedings in the morning. I was there with her and Macy all day. Macy was AMAZING! She hung out with her sister, they played and held hands. So cute!! Steve is there now and if she doesn't come home tomorrow we will switch and fall back into our routine. She really does look good. Steve said she even ate a potato chip! I still don't believe him but whatever!!

So Thanksgiving may not be as we planned but that's ok. It always works out and we are at peace by getting this taken care of. Get her a little tune up and back at it. I am so Thankful to have the Spa so close and to have MD's, PA's and nurses that care and feel like family. We love them all up there and are so blessed!!

Nappy time!
The girls hanging out! They always find something to do.

I've been trying to post a video of the twins singing "Jesus Loves Me," SO CUTE, but I can't get it to work. I'll have to have my tecky husband try :)
It's been an uneventful couple weeks. It doesn't seem like I have alot of down time these days which is ok. 2, 2 year olds keep us busy, let alone 3 other girls :) Leah has been babysitting. I even got a call from a mom about what an awesome babysitter she is. Ashley laughed and said, "whatever!" Sisterly love! Where did the time go!! By baby, is babysitting? And why does she clean up other people's houses but not ours??? So many questions :) But she LOVES it! She loves kids! (wonder where she gets that from)
This week we got introduced at church. I SO MUCH wanted to take the twins! I can handle not taking them to stores, schools, or anywhere: but not going to church as a family bugs me. So, in my head, I thought we'd all go. Even the PA at clinic said, just take Brooke in with a mask on, once you are introduced go out with her. Steve was like, "NO WAY! GERMS!!" So I was thinking, at least we'll take Macy. Wednesday Brooke came down with a low grade temp and crabbiness. Thursday night she was up for 3 hours, dry heaving and crabbing about everything! Friday we went to clinic. All seemed pretty well. No surprises. Saturday Macy starts puking!! Saturday night I felt like I was running a race, the minute I heard the heaving I RAN from Macy to Brooke!! Oh the puke :) So to say the least, God had other plans. The twins did not go to church. It just isn't the right time. It's amazing how the 2 ladies that stay home so they don't get sick, get sick!! Being exposed to germs is what builds your immune system. Obviously for Brooke that isn't possible, but poor Macy is along for the ride. So the wash is done, and the puking is at bay, for now. Steve was hunting for a few days, so I felt bad for him when he had to come back to this mess. He said he didn't mind :) I like to have it all "under control" so he doesn't worry when he's gone and just relaxes. Sick kids is not under control :) He said he still had fun, and we were all excited to have him back home.
Brooke's next clinic visit is the week after Thanksgiving. They plan to see her Monday and Friday that week to draw blood for T cells. They have to draw so much blood they need 2 separate draw days. Please pray for 1 poke. This week they had to poke her 4 times to get blood. She was a trooper but we HATE to have to do that. As always, pray for BIG NUMBERS. We hope to get numbers back before Christmas. I still have to get ingrained in my head "this is LIFE LONG." So we don't plan on complete healing, but stability would help us to be at peace.
Have a great Thanksgiving! Don't forget to give thanks to the Great Provider for all He has done for us. Things big and small. We so easily take life for granted!!

We've been trying to post pictures and it hasn't been working. FINALLY Steve got it to work. YIPPEE
Bruiser ! Brooke took a tumble and got a beautiful black eye! Steve and I were at Small group and Leah called that Brooke fell. I came home to see if everything was ok. Leah had everything under control, ice on it and had Brooke laughing. Poor Leah felt so bad. She said, "I feel like it's my fault." I asked her if she punched her or pushed her. Leah started laughing, and said "no why?" THEN IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!! We all try so hard to protect these little ladies. We can't! Brooke is a two year old on blood thinners. What a dumb combination! So this is a prize! The 1st black eye of the Koeman ladies! Whoo hoo!!

Halloween pictures. Brooke was a Rooster. She says a mean "cockadoodle doooo"

The ladies with Great Grandpa and Grandma Brouwer!

Great Grandpa Lubbers

My devotions again really hit me and I wanted to share. It said, "People tend to think their circumstances determine the quality of their lives. So they pour their energy into controlling those situations. They feel happy when things are going well and sad or frustrated when things don't turn out as they hoped. " "It is possible to be content in any and every situation." "Put more energy into trusting me and enjoying my presence."

Philippians 19 : 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can to everything through him who gives me strength."

I just thought how this relates to everyone! The mom with busy kids, school things, house duties: the busy work schedule: health issues: etc, etc. Things that are out of our control. So why try and control it. All we can do is our best. And if that is done, then we will be at peace. The peace that God gives us for a job well done!

Time goes on........

Not much new at the Koemans. Steve is done with harvest! WHOO HOO!! That is a huge relief. This is earliest he has ever been done. Everything cooperated, even me :) (that's unusual :) The girls were excited to have him home. Since Steve was home and he says he's NEVER been trick or treating in his LIFE (poor boy), we took him trick or treating. Steve's grandpa recently moved into an assisted living so we went there to visit everyone. The girls had a riot. There was even a haunted house. Oh boy!! From there we went to my grandparents and my parents. Halloween for me when I was young was about visiting people. We'd go to a house and talk for awhile, then onto the next. As a child you want CANDY, but you realize when you get older how the visits mean so much more. So I hope to instill some of that in our children. That maybe we can bring a little joy to others on this silly little hallmark holiday.

Other than that, Brooke is doing well. She had a little fall, so she has a black and blue eye. Steve took her to her appts today. Blood draw in 1 try, YIPPEE!! Then Steve took his ladies (Macy and Brooke) through the McDonald's drive through, french fries in the truck, and then to their next appt. The endocrinologist didn't have much to say. He said, yup she's small. He claims they can catch her up at any time, and now is not the time. It seems lately NOW is never the time. This kid has things wrong with numerous systems, but we need to wait because the system she needs the most (immune system) is taking it's own sweet time. So we wait. We can do that. We are really good at it. :)

Steve and I are planning a vacation. Yes, that's right, leaving the chaos for a week. I must say this has tugged at my heart, but I have been informed, it's time. My parents are planning on moving in and taking over with the help of some friends, aunts and more grandparents. :) This is a group effort. It's hard to give up responsibility. We have been responsible for all of our children since birth, actually before. When your children are healthy you take it for granted. You go about your business and assume everything will be fine. When you have a special needs child, you error on the side of caution. Your mind is always going, what's next, what hurts, what's broken, what's wrong now. I can't say it makes us anxious or bothers us. It's just our new role as parents and we are completely at peace with this. However to hand that responsibilty to someone else is difficult. First of all, because we feel it's our job and we love it. Second, because it's our routine. It's what we have done for 2 years. We are a team and we've been married so long we actually don't have to speak and know what the other is thinking :) So, this team is taking off. We are heading to Florida in December. The girls are excited and we know they will be well cared for and loved. This will be good and fun. (I'm convincing myself, hehe) And I guarentee we will be ready to come back home and hug them all. We've already started talking to the MD's so that we can get things done before and after we leave. This little girl takes alot of planning :) We are just a flight away.