All under one roof!

Since my last post, I realized, I never post of our reunion.  We have all girls under one roof.  We picked up Leah in July and it felt so good.  The twins said to me, as Leah was coming down the escalter in the airport, "look at dad!"  The smile and tears on his face said it all.  She's back!!!!
She had an amazing time.  And I can't speak for her personally, but I'd say Africa was life changing.  She will be speaking at church at some point and telling of her adventures.
From a mom's standpoint, she's different.  She's content, she's grown up, she's mature.  She's so fun!  Leah started working at Holland Hospital in ER and will start college again in the fall.

Then Megan turned 16 and Ashley turned 14.   YIKES!!!!  I've said it so many times, "stop time now!!"   I love each stage, but why are there so many stages.  I feel like we've lost Megan.  She has her car and will travel :)  Can't blame her, Steve and I did the same thing.  I just miss her.  I'm excited for her to be with friends and find her way in life. 

Ashley just made the Freshman Volleyball team.  Nice job Ash!  That'll be our next few months entertainment.  

White car's at the Koeman's.  I see a pattern :)  

Then there are the twins.  It's been 10 years that Brooke started our SCID journey.  I think back and see how far we've come, with SOOOOO much help.  We have been on this journey with so many people.  The support and love that we have seen is hard to wrap our arms around.  Brooke is doing far better than ever expected.  She has her "glitches" but nothing that stops her from trudging on.  Where she falls short, Macy picks up the slack.  They were able to participate in a Make a wish 5k  and they started  4th grade  It's crazy how I can remember close to every detail from 10 years ago and it seems like yesterday, but I'm so happy it was 10 years ago.  God has been our comforter, provider and brought us a peace that only comes from Him.  

Here's to another 10 years!!!

A mama's heart!

 

Today we sent another piece of our heart to Africa.  I've never been so happy for her, but my heart wants to be with them.  As I held her and said good bye, she said, "mom don't cry."  I can't help it.  I love my kids SOOOOO MUCH!!!  I've always wanted to be a mom.  When our kids were born I would hold off telling anyone they were born because I just wanted to hold them, all to myself.  I've always been in awe how something so miraculous can happen.  And now as I watch them grow up, I'm still in awe. I can't wait to hear of Leah and Megan's reunion.  To see them hug for the first time in months.  Facetime is great, but to hug your sister and best friend is something else.  The talks they'll have at night, catching up, eating candy, taking care of each other.  Makes a mama's heart happy. 

In 14 days we pick up Megan.  In 24 days we pick up Leah.  There are a TON of people that want to see Leah.  Steve and I talked about it and he said, "I just want to pick her up, just give me that."  A daddy's heart!!  He misses his girl as well. 

What an amazing summer it will be.  So excited to see what God has in store for all of our ladies.  So many experiences!  He is so good! 

Beautiful Gate

 I was asked when being brought back to the airport what my favorite thing was about this trip, and it couldn't be Leah.  That was difficult for me, because I went on this trip for a very selfish reason.  To make sure our daughter was OK, physically, mentally and spiritually. I had no other motive.  So my favorite part will forever be getting off the plane and walking into her arms.  She is a beautiful soul!!!

 From there it would be spending time with Leah and her roommates.  Watching them interact.  Watching how the "Do Life" together.  Below is Leah's house.  Her and her two roommates have a routine down and the do it well.  They care for themselves.  They are adults.  They cook, and clean.  Leah's room was even clean!!!  (very shocking)  (Megan's room at home is clean too.  I guess they are just messy together :)  They have a menu and a schedule of events.  Fun to see.

 Here are a few pictures of Beautiful Gate.  What keeps coming back to me is, Beautiful Gate is a family.  There are 5 houses, with house moms, and kids in each house.  There is a max capacity of 75 kids total at the orphanage.  Those girls know every kid, even though they are assigned to one house.  And every kid knows them.  The house mom's love those kids.  They have schedules that they follow, some houses more closely than others. (same as here).  What you don't see is "stuff."  During playtime, toys come out, but then they are put away, to carry on with their routine.  They are not bombarded with "things" to keep them occupied (games, toys, TV, ELECTRONICS), and they are happy.  (I have 2, 9 year olds that were perplexed by that idea.).  Simple is better.  But like Leah said, it's not that how we live is bad, it's just different there.  Beautiful Gate is a wonderful, safe community and family, for the kids, but also all who enter.

The kids!  I LOVE the kids. The girls are in charge of  "soft play" every morning for over 3 hours.  That involves picking up every child, from each house that can move/roll/crawl, but does not walk.  So ages vary, and some of these kids may have special needs, like Cerebral Palsy, or even just low muscle tone. They work with these kids, to get them moving, hold them, love them, give them individual attention, feed them, and change a lot of diapers. This is not for the faint of heart, or even a tired person.  These kids have energy, and personalities, and sometimes they all cry :)  And when they are tired, some of them just lie down and go to sleep.  It's crazy!  I wanted to take each one home.  The hardest part for me, was knowing some of these kids are matched with families, just waiting for paperwork.  Oh my head!!!  Hurry up government!!!  These kids have families WAITING!!!!  The kids are all loved, don't get me wrong, but knowing they all having someone, either biological families that don't have the current means to care for them, or adoptive families that can't yet reach them, was something you can't dwell on or it'll hurt your heart.  You just simply love them!

 
 The land of Lesotho is Beautiful.  Very hilly.  Not super commercialized like here.  Much more simple. Leah brought me to a "good/nice" part of town the first day.  I was like, "this is ok." Later she brought me to a rural not so nice part of town, and I re-evaluated how nice the other part was :)  Many times the girls walked fast.  There was no stopping, because every one would come up to you, talk to you, try to get you to buy their stuff.  You don't just take your phone out and start taking pictures.  Some of the taxi drivers drive the girls around like they are a prize (you don't see many white girls there), others try to charge them more (because they are white)..  But the girls know this.  And they seem to take everything in stride and confidence.

I have so many stories, but can't fit them all on here. 

I was given a gift.  A gift by my family to leave for 9 days, to make sure the rest of our family is ok. Steve and the girls were very ok.  They really don't need me (and that's in a good way).  They can manage day to day just fine.  A gift from Leah, to be shown her heart.  Her love of others and her survival skills.  She is doing well.  I LOVED Steve's first question when he picked me up, "is Leah ok? how was her demeanor, how did she act?" Sometimes you just have to see your kids and hug them to know.  I was given a gift from God for this whole experience. As a parent you love your kids no matter where they are.  I saw that at Beautiful Gate.  I saw a whole lot of love! I saw a need that is bring filled.  I saw God's blessing.  And it warms my heart.
It's still hard to leave Leah.  I've cried daily since leaving her, but not out of fear, just out of pure love and joy of a great kid that God blessed us with!  Never in a million years did I see myself with 5 kids.  But I have never been so grateful He gave us each and every one, even if they don't all stay in the same country :)  

(FYI:  I know Leah is trying to keep her blog updated, but I found out first hand how WiFi and cell service works there, it doesn't work well.  hahaha.  So I had her set up with WiFi for a few days after I left but that doesn't last long and service is sketchy, so she'll do the best she can. :)

To Love and Serve!

I recently asked Leah, what's it like in Africa?  She said, "mom you just have to be here to see.  The culture is just different." .I asked if I'll come home wanting to change my lifestyle. She said its just 2 different cultures.  It's not right or wrong, it's just a different way of living.
This past weekend I was able to go with some of our church high schoolers to Roseland, Illinois.  It is a very poor area in Chicago.  We stayed in a woman's shelter.  We were able to make meals for homeless and work in a second hand store.  This was a different lifestyle, a different way of living.  People had many different stories as to how they got there, but they were there.
I did not come home feeling guilty for my way of living, I felt grateful.  I appreciated my family, job and opportunities so much more.  I had a drive to listen and help others, that was not there 3 days earlier.
While with the youth, we had a time of Bible study.  One of the kids said, "this is not an attractive mission trip."  And you think about it, it's not.  There was nothing glamorous about the weekend.  Nothing even clean about the weekend.  No beautiful scenery to see.  But it was all reality.  We are called to love others.  As a coworker recently said, "to have tolerance."  We need to have tolerance of each other, kindheartedness, and help one another.   We need to show our kids the world around us, so that they can make an impact.  It doesn't always look pretty.
I often think of memories I have from growing up.  And its less and less, the things I thought were most important my teenage years.  I don't remember basketball games, or many dances.  I remember some fun times with friends.  But I can recall the times I was able to serve others.  Vacation Bible school downtown New York, picking up trash along side the roads, visiting elderly with my dad on Sunday afternoons.  And I'm sure I grumbled about doing some of these things.
Thank you mom and dad for showing me others way of living and caring for others.
I hope and pray we get more opportunities to go with our girls on these excursions.  Megan said to me, "this was my first mission trip."  I pray there are many more to come for all the girls.

Are you ok?

The answer to that question is, "no! But we will be."  It appears I've been crying all week about anything.  Goldfish crackers on the counter.  Leah loves those.  The Good Doctor.  Leah loves that show. I cried while making eclair dessert and kielbasa soup.  Leah loves those.  I cried while putting the twins to bed, that started a whole nother mess :)  And all of this was while Leah was still home :)  WOW, what a hot mess!!

I'd like to explain Leah for a minute.  She was a good baby!  (Obviously we went on to have 4 more :)  She was a rough toddler.  She was very determined and would not give in easily (sometimes at all.)  She use to ask what her consequence would be.  She was weighing her options on if the deed was worth doing.  As she got older, we could reason with her.  Talk to her.  She still may have made some dumb decisions (I still do :) but she understood, learned and moved on.  Her motherly instincts came out with her sisters, and from what I hear with her friends as well.  She became someone I wanted to (and still love to) hang out with. Her sisters are going to miss Leah telling them what to do for the next 6 months.  Some of us will miss watching Greys Anatomy and Bachelor with her (we will DVR them :)  Steve and I will miss her talking her sisters down while they are FREAKING OUT about something, when she says "I've seen mom and dad really mad, you don't want to do this."  (she tells them other things that we don't know about.  They all come back happy so we don't really care :)  We pray she can get up on time at the orphanage and be happy in the morning, but she's in Africa, its all on her now.

In my time of talking with God this week, I expressed to Him my sadness of letting her go and my joyfulness of her going.  And one thing I kept hearing back was, "thanks for raising her, I got this now."
I think I've shared this before, but years back, when Brooke was sick, Steve said to me, "Shelly we need to let her go."  Obviously that had to do with Brooke being so sick, but that has stuck with my parenting ever since.  As selfish as I want to be, these 5 BEAUTIFUL girls are not ours. I want to keep them in my home and in my arms forever.  But they are on loan.  God has their lives planned and laid out for them.  We are here to mold them and shape them, and pray they follow God's leading.  As I watch Leah, follow God's leading I couldn't be more proud of her, or any of my girls for that matter.  The love they show for each other, brings my heart happiness and peace.  A piece of all of our hearts is in Africa, right where God wants it to be.

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

God's got you Leah Rose!!!

9 days

I haven't posted much about this, because, this isn't my story.  This is Leah's.  But she now has her own blog to update and the date is getting closer, so here is the story from a parents view.   (I'm sure different than Leah's view :)
Last spring we visited many different colleges.  Leah "settled" on one and even put on instagram where she was going.  Steve said, I wish she wouldn't have done that, I feel like her heart is leading her somewhere else.  I thought that was very insightful of her dad and could also see Leah's uneasiness. 
Maybe a month later, Leah shared with us that she was being drawn back to Africa, Beautiful Gate.  She asked our thoughts and we told her to explore that idea.  When God opens a door, He makes it happen. 
Long story short, Leah leaves for Beautiful Gate in Lesotho in 9 days.  She will be there for 6 months, returning in July.  This seems crazy but there is such a peace.  Leah is so excited!  I am so excited for  her, but not gonna lie, I've cried a few times, as has a sister or two :)
Your kids are always, your kids.  Being half way around the world seems crazy, but I have utmost confidence in Leah and in our Lord, to provide for her. 
So we continue with last minute plans, packing and feeding her all the food she might not get in Africa :) 
I am able to go see Leah in March and Megan gets to go June.  What an opportunity she has given us. 

Matthew 25:35-40New International Version (NIV)

35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

These people are my favorites!!!   Go do AMAZING works Leah Rose!  The Lord is using you!!!!  We will be right here waiting for you!!