9 days

I haven't posted much about this, because, this isn't my story.  This is Leah's.  But she now has her own blog to update and the date is getting closer, so here is the story from a parents view.   (I'm sure different than Leah's view :)
Last spring we visited many different colleges.  Leah "settled" on one and even put on instagram where she was going.  Steve said, I wish she wouldn't have done that, I feel like her heart is leading her somewhere else.  I thought that was very insightful of her dad and could also see Leah's uneasiness. 
Maybe a month later, Leah shared with us that she was being drawn back to Africa, Beautiful Gate.  She asked our thoughts and we told her to explore that idea.  When God opens a door, He makes it happen. 
Long story short, Leah leaves for Beautiful Gate in Lesotho in 9 days.  She will be there for 6 months, returning in July.  This seems crazy but there is such a peace.  Leah is so excited!  I am so excited for  her, but not gonna lie, I've cried a few times, as has a sister or two :)
Your kids are always, your kids.  Being half way around the world seems crazy, but I have utmost confidence in Leah and in our Lord, to provide for her. 
So we continue with last minute plans, packing and feeding her all the food she might not get in Africa :) 
I am able to go see Leah in March and Megan gets to go June.  What an opportunity she has given us. 

Matthew 25:35-40New International Version (NIV)

35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

These people are my favorites!!!   Go do AMAZING works Leah Rose!  The Lord is using you!!!!  We will be right here waiting for you!!

And it continues...............

Food!  The ongoing food saga.  Brooke eats, so we don't complain. She has interesting tastebuds but we roll with it.  Unfortunately, in the morning, she's S L O W!!!  Even if she gets up at 6am, she doesn't have time to sit and eat.  Because she just doesn't move!  So for the past year or two, she eats chocolate poptarts in the van on the way to school.  Her sisters won't sit in her seat, because she makes a mess.  Today I brought her too the grocery store and said, "please find something, anything."  She found Nutri Grain bars.  That's a good start.  However, she had to try one tonight, to make sure she liked it.  She's been eating one bar for 30 minutes and is still deciding if she likes it.  I don't know what to say. 
We also struggle with lunches.  She's been known to bring steak, chicken, casserole.  She wanted mandarin oranges.  So I grabbed the lunch ones in the plastic cup.  Nope!  "Mom, they taste funny in plastic, I like them out of the can."  Really!!  So it appears she may be eating beef jerky and a can of mandarin oranges for lunch.  Could be worse :) 
I must say, this is much better than tube feedings.  So I'll take it.  I will always keep chocolate poptarts and M&M's on back up. 

School...........

For years teachers have tried to get us to sign up for "Powerschool."  Where you know all your kids grades etc.  I had to sign up because I have kids in the school system, didn't mean I had to look at it constantly.  I'd glance every month or so.  For some reason this year, the app was downloaded on my phone.  I understand the logistics behind it, but sometimes I think it's overkill.  

I have very minimal alerts that go off on my phone.  I don't like my phone to control me, hence it needs to stay silent except for texts and phone calls.  Today my phone chirped.  I looked and it said a child was marked absent in a class.   That's strange.  I brought that child to school.  So I texted her.  "why aren't you in class?"  Turns out she was taking a test in another class and ran late.  She then text, "guess I can never skip, huh?"  

I got to thinking, how sad.  I don't want to micro manage my kids.  Some of my fondest memories are at Donutville.  I got decent grades but high school wasn't for me.  I didn't "LOVE" it, like so many.  So, occasionally, my hankering for donuts would over power my will to sit in class.  

Then there is the "fear factor" of "I just skipped, what if my parents find out?"  So you, problem solve how to manage the reaction.  

I understand safety nets.  I wish more than anything I could keep my kids home safe forever, never making a dumb decision in their life.  But I'm not sure that is reality. And if they can't problem solve real life, how are they going to make it in this world.  

So many thoughts from one chirp of the phone.  I'm so happy God gave us 5 kids.  We just keep trying to do our best.  Good luck my ladies!!!  If nothing else, I pray they always know, their parents are here for them every step of the way, even if we don't know their every move :) 

Summer time!

So this all happened this summer!!  Crazy I can't put all the pictures down, or I'd over load the blog.  The pictures go backwards, so bear with me.  My parents celebrated 50 years of being married!  So awesome.  They are such role models for all of us.  Their laugh, love and honesty is what I admire.  I remember my mom calling me once and saying,  "what does it take to get a divorce?"  I was like, "wow this must me bad."  She proceeded, "dad came home with a dog.  I don't want a dog."  It was rather comical.  In the end, she loved that dog.  And she still loves that man!  They have taught us what it means to stick together through the good and bad!  And that God always provides.   

 We got to do the Magical Wishes run to raise money for kids waiting for a Make a Wish trip.  They blessed our family more than we can ever express so it's fun to be able to support this cause.

 Silver Lake!!!!  I wish I had a picture of the whole crew we were with, but I don't.  We had a big group and so much fun!  The kids were at such great ages.  The older ones went off on their own and could do their own things.  Life changes as they grow up.

 Child labor!  Steve has some pesky weeds in his field that won't die with round up.  So what does a farmer do?  Take his children, bring them to the field and tell them to start pulling.  I can't say they enjoyed it, they actually complained a lot, but I'm hoping we built character.

 Summer isn't complete without the fair!!!  Our nieces are involved in 4H and the girls LOVE to watch.  And I think it's fun when the 18 year old, dress the 13 year old :)  I didn't have sisters so I'm still in awe how their relationships work.  Love it!!

 Camp, my babies went to camp and loved it!!  The first night I kept thinking, "maybe they need me."  They made sure I knew when I picked them up, they were just fine.  They didn't need me, but my cooking was much appreciated :)  At least I'm good for something.

 Hammocks and sunsets!  They are beautiful things!  Even got the big guy in a hammock.

 Great grandma got an Ipad.  At the age of 88, she decided she was going to give it a try.  Megan is a good teacher and I love that the girls can interact and teach her.  I also like that grandma can see all the pictures on line.  We hope she can Facetime Leah when she goes to Africa next year.

 Leah went to Israel.  She spent 16 days, walking where Jesus walked.  Her pictures and stories are priceless.  What a gift to see, first hand, everything you've been taught for 18 years.  We pray she holds the information close to her heart.

                                  GRADUATION!!!!  Gotta love all the excitement the kids had!

                                                   Be still my heart, daddy and his little girl.

 Graduation open house!  The above picture warms my heart. When Leah was born, Steve called Holland Christian High school and got these 4 boys out of class.  Exciting times!  She was here.  They all came to see her (mainly to get out of school).  They have been big part in helping us be parents.  Now they are raising kiddo's of their own.

We were blessed to have Leah's open house with our Abby.  Koop's are family that God blessed us with and we were so excited to share this day together.

All in all, summer has been great!  Kids are back in school and Leah started at Grand Rapids Community College. Most of her friends have left for college and I cried when they left.  So hard to have all these changes but they are all good changes.  I do enjoy having all my ladies under one roof and with Leah's friends gone, we get to see her more.  Not fair for her but good for mama's heart :)  Her plans are to leave for Africa in February.  Plane ticket is bought and plans are coming along.  Her heart is with babies in an Orphanage, Beautiful Gate.  So excited to watch the girls grow up and find where God is calling them.

Where did the time go?

I don't blog often anymore.  I typically wait for the nudging thoughts to keep coming to my brain, and then I write them down.  I have a few lost in the abyss and never posted, but that's ok too. 
Lately my brain keeps going too, "where did the time go?"  19 years ago, I was working full time, loving life and watching my belly grow.  Steve and I were BEYOND excited to become parents.  I marveled and was in awe as to how this tiny thing was actually growing.  I had 4 teenage boys that hung out at my house most evenings and they kept us laughing.  I knew then, I loved teenagers.  Their carefree, crazy attitudes just made me laugh. 
I think I've "Loved" every stage, (not true there are a few I don't want to do again).  But I told the girls this week, I would freeze them right now.  They are all in school, all living under my roof (which gets quite messy, but we manage), they are pretty independent, however they always come back.  I love to watch the thought process of them.  When they were infants everything was a first, food, walking, talking etc.  But this is so much more fun.  Their first job, cars, cars breaking down, relationships with friends, vacations, careers, colleges, life goals and experiences.  You get to see their thought processes, and sometimes there seems to be no thought at all :)  You get to see where their heart is at. 
So as we plan out the next few months for Leah's Senior year, I keep thinking.  Please freeze!  Please stop, I'm not ready!  I like the talks I get to have with her.  I like listening to her, I like saying "well thought out,"  or "what were you thinking?"  I like saying, "Good night, I love you," no matter what time she comes home at night, (confession: sometimes I text it to her if I get to tired to stay awake.)

I'm so excited for her and all her plans for the next year.  I LOVE her passion and drive in life.  I love when she calls or text me for random questions.  I guess all in all, there isn't a whole lot of point to this post.  Just a mom, that's not ready.  I will be ready!  I refuse to stand in my kids way of
soaring.  We raise them to be independent and to follow God's calling.  But don't be surprised when I'm standing there crying.  It's just my way of processing :)  I'll be ok. 
Good thing we had 5 children.  Not gonna lie, I'll be a hot mess every time they graduate and I'm ok with that. 

BIRTHDAY!!!

The day!  My birthday!  This year was different.  A different feeling I guess.  I started out the beginning of the week, explaining to my family, "It's my birthday week."  I got minimal responses and realized, I am the only one that cares about this.  Why am I making a big deal out of it?  So, there went my fun attitude.  I made a cake for the twins over the weekend (their half birthday, needs cake :) so we ate that for a few days. 
Yesterday the kids were asking, "what are we doing tomorrow?"  I told them, Brooke had an MD appt and then I was going to work.  3 times I heard, "You're working on your birthday?"  3 times I asked them, "did you plan anything for me on my birthday?"  They all said, "no."  THEN YES I'M WORKING!!!  Work likes me, they appreciate me, they smile when I walk in the door.  As you can tell, my attitude was less than desirable.
The day went as planned, Brooke had her appointment, all good.  Coming home from her appointment I got a call from a man.  He's in Florida.  Every year I get a call from this sweet man and he says "Happy Birthday" and tells me he loves me and we shoot the breeze for awhile.  On Wednesday this sweet man had heart issues was admitted to the hospital, had to have a heart cath and stent.  When my mom called, my heart sank.  Dad was doing well, but I wasn't there. And I wanted to be there. Be there for my mom, and be there to scold my dad.  What was he doing?  I need him!!  So Wednesday was hard, and sad.  I was crying and the twins asked why.  I explained what was going on and that I was mad.  Mad at health problems, mad a grandpa, just mad, and sad.  They said, "you can't be mad at grandpa, he's fine."  Because grandpa is always "fine."
When I got to talk to him today, my mood changed.  This is the BEST present ever.  I felt complete. From there the day got better.  Work was great.  Kids cleaned the house (that's NEVER happened, I'm thinking my mom called them :), received amazing notes and poems from them girls, and thought, maybe they are going to be ok.  I even said to them, "I didn't know you liked me."  It sounds strange, but I wonder most days. 
I got wonderful messages on social media/text and finished the day laughing the night away with friends.  I am blessed!  My attitude has changed.  At the age of 42, I still needed an attitude adjustment, and a reality check I guess. 
My dad thanked me today for not yelling at him about the "heart incident." It wasn't and incident it was a heart attack.   When I heard his voice, I couldn't yell at him. I cried and my heart is so full.  Like anyone, we always need more time.  More time to love and learn.  Once my dad finds out I blogged about this I may be in trouble, but I'll take the risk.  He's a good man, they are a great couple.  And I am thankful 42 years ago, they allowed me to come to their party!! 

Blogging Neglect

It appears I have been neglecting the blog (per my daughter).  In actuality, I have written a couple post, but never published them.  Why?  I don't know. I figure with everyone's busy lives, who has time to read this?  But it's time for an update. 
Summer was great!!  All the same things, and better.  Leah spent time in Africa, at Beautiful Gate.  An orphanage.  They left a wonderful imprint in her heart.  Her stories brought us to tears!  So happy she had this experience.
We did our usual camping and even got the family up to the U.P.  I must say, I LOVED it up there.  The kids really seemed to have fun as well.   I felt like we had everything we needed, our family and limited cell phone service.  We did nothing out of the ordinary, but I enjoyed the time with my hubby and girls.  When we got cell phone service I called my mom and heard, "That's the LONGEST I've gone without talking to you guys.  I missed you!!!"  So refreshing!  Because we missed grandma too!



School started with it's normal routines.  It was nice to get back into a routine and the kids were excited to see their friends.  With that comes sports and activities.  So life carries on.  We had the pleasure of going to Cedar Point with Give Kids the World and Leah, Megs and I got to go to a Luke Bryan concert.   I must say these ages of the girls are my favorites!  (Megan says I say every year is my favorite. Maybe true!). When the girls were little we stayed home (the best we could),  hunkered down and tried to figure it out.  Going away was so much work.  Now you just say, "get in the car" and you leave.  I've tried to enjoy each stage, but I think I want to freeze time now :) 

Brooke has been holding her own (as always).  Labs were done for her immune system and so far so good.  She had some issues with her kidney and liver functions but it appears that is a result of A LOT of antibiotic use.  Brooke has essentially been on antibiotics since June for sinus issues.  It doesn't really seem to do anything.  We've been to her PCP, an ENT locally (not a good idea), then back to PCP, then to infectious disease, then to pulmonology, then to BMT (transplant doctor), then to ENT at Devos.  I feel bad for these doctors but they are great!  It appears the result is going to be sinus surgery.  Not the answer we wanted, but with a lot of MD's consulting each other they decided that is the best option.  It's amazing when the doctors ask me questions I tell them to ask Brooke.  I only know what I can observe.  So they ask how often she has headaches, and she looks at them and says, "like right now and every day."  And stomach aches, "everyday."  Not a day goes by that this kid is not in pain.  Rarely does she complain about it!  She only complains if the pain prevents her from doing something.  And then her goal is to dull the pain so she can carry on with life.  With that being said, her kidney doctor said no more ibuprofen and limited acetaminophen because her kidneys and liver can't handle it.  Not sure what else you use for pain medicine, but we are going to try positive attitudes :)  Kinda feel at a loss for the poor kid some days. 
All long time ago, Steve and I decided that Brooke needed to live her life without fear.  No fear of illness or setbacks.  Just to love life.  And Brooke has done just that!  She amazes us and is a true example of perseverance!.
Brooke's surgery is November 14, Lord willing.  She currently has a worse cold than normal, and I know they won't do surgery if she sounds like she does now.  So, we do inhalers and nose sprays to try and ward this off. 
I'll keep you updated as to how she does.  Praying she breezes on through and can drain those sinus's in the end.