Grateful!

That's what we are today!  Grateful for another day.  For 7 years post transplant!  For 5 pretty healthy girls! For family and friends. 
Tonight I looked back at pictures of the twins.  When they were born, their first year. And I thought, "why?" and "how did we make it?"  and "where did the time go?" 
As days go on, I sometimes forget the many lessons learned. I get irritated.  Frustrated with the non listening kids.  My patience grows thin.  And then I sit and reminisce.  Not everyone is given this chance.  We did nothing different than any other family with a sick child, the results were just different.  Which means, I have to be different.  God called as a Christians to not conform to this world.  We were so fortunate to live this miracle!!!  Thank you Jesus!!  Thank you for changing lives!! 


Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; For this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18   (A great friend sent me this verse today.  THANK YOU!)

 

 

 

Time goes on...........

This week I did something special. I had the day off work and my friend was babysitting her grandson. Yes I said grandson!  What a prefect day to go hold a sweet baby. Also a time to reminisce. I have a few friends that we have stuck together through it all. You see we were friends before we had babies, or right when we had them.  We endured the pregnancies, maternity leaves, baby illness', going back to work, daycare, minimal cash flow and on and on.  And the question remains,  how did we get here?   I sat in her living room.  And all I could think was, we made it.  Our sweet babies are growing.  They sleep all night.  We can talk with them, reason with them, joke around with them.  We are raising them to be independent young people.  I LOVED having babies in the house.  I would actually do it again if I was younger with more energy, but this is great a well.   I hate seeing my babies grow, but I am so blessed to have wonderful friends to grow with (not old, just grow :)

My message to mom's of any little's,  hang in there mama!  You are making a difference.  Those little's love you, you are their everything.  And, it gets easier.  I promise!!  God has great plans and I love to see His plans roll out.  Look for Him every day.  You'll see Him!! 


                                                Our "little" family, "God grant us rest."

                                                               To "thank you Jesus!"

LONG TIME!!!

So, it's been a long time since this was updated.  To be honest I wrote an exit post last month but never posted it.   With all the social media the blog is just something else to read.  But to be completely honest we have a 7 year old that can read.  And she hasn't been that excited about her past.  She has seen her baby book many times.  But recently she read it.  I came home and Steve said, "watch out, she's mad."  I was like, "whatever."  Well, she brought me her book and flips through the pages asking me why I wrote the things I did.  Like, "the doctors said she might not make it."  "she was very sick"   "she cried all night."  I explained to her, these are true events that happened.  She was not having it.  And the true feelings came out, from the mouths of babe.  "Mom!  If you write all this EVERYONE will know I was sick!"  

Everyone does know...........this is no secret.   To our 40 year old minds, we lived this.  Our family, friends and friend of friends lived this.  To a 7 year old.........this never happened and she's normal.  Any my thoughts wandered to the blog, "oh boy, she's gonna kill me." 

Now I am aware, she's 7, she's not in control.  But like a good friend said, we've dealt with her physical well being for a long time.  Now we have more.  Mental and emotional well being. The strong feelings to fit in. 

So with that, I haven't had many updates.  She's been doing "fine" if you ask her.   She struggles with lung issues and "funny breathing."  She has "junky" lungs.  You can hear the wheezing and rhonchi (noise) when you listen.   After seeing a pulmonologist and trying a few things she is scheduled for a CT and a bronchoscopy next week.  Hopefully they can identify what causing this and treat it.  Our "educated guess" is that she has some sort of bug (virus/bacterial) that needs longer than a 7 day course of antibiotics.  That would be an easy fix.  She's a little nervous for the testing because now she's old enough to know what she's in for, but she takes it in stride.   (If you tell her you read about any of this on the blog I will deny it :)

Other than that the Koeman's are just like everyone else.  Trying to enjoy every minute, trying to slow down, and trying to remember someday, our crazy lives won't be crazy and we'll wonder where the time went. 

Praying everyone has a terrific Christmas celebrating the gift of Jesus!   I will admit I had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit.  No snow, it's so warm.  I just wasn't feeling it.  Then my sweet girl made us a manger, instead of a tree.  That hit me!  And then tonight, watching all their sweet smiles and faces when opening presents.  I wish every night was just like this!

                          I got to dress them up as twins and they liked it!!!  Best present EVER!!!

The Greatest Gift!!

Parenting Woe's!

We tend to put our children in 2 personality categories.  The Tiggers and the Eeyores.  We have 2 Eeyores.  They are pretty laid back (unless you really tick them off), they are slow to speak, they are typically the last one in the van, they bicker and fight with the best of them, but will back down easier. If you ask them to do something, they will mosey on over  and get it done, eventually.
We have 3 Tiggers.  They are QUICK with everything, quick to speak, quick with comebacks, homework done fast, dressed and ready to go, first in the van (claiming their seat).
You get the picture!  Hence they are "Golden girls."  Different personalities bickering it out. (I'm starting to feel I have a problem with TV and my analogies)
So today, I was excited to have taken the day off.  The kids had off school and I figured we'd hang out.  Brooke had a MD appt, so no big plans.  I was instead confronted early in the morning with Tiggers.   BOING BOING BOING!   Let's tell mom off!!!  WOW, are you kidding me!!!!  I must say, our oldest is a tigger as well, but she's grown into her personality and deals very well.  She actually helps me with the others.  Because she gets them she can talk them down, and reason with them.  She was at work, so it was me and NOTHING I could do made it better.  I was actually making it worse.  Discipline escalated the situation, reasoning was not an option, being nice was insulting (go figure).  I left her in her room (which was also the wrong thing to do, according to her) and she left to her grandma's after awhile.  Once she came home, life was great, for her.  In the meantime the other Tigger had joined in on the anger. 
My woe's come in when they all calmed down.  I was like, "ok ladies, we need to figure this out.  Or mama's gonna lose it."  Their response, "you don't love us!"  WHAT!!!!  HEARTBREAKING!!  But yet I get it.  I parent each child different.  If you look cross eyed at the Eeyore's they are heartbroken.  If you looked cross eyed at the Tiggers, they will laugh at you and dance around you.  So to them it looks like I don't love them.  I had to think fast. I told them, because I love them, they are allowed to still live here after they treat me like dirt :)  If they treated a boss like this, they'd be fired.  Never let back into the building.  If they treated a boyfriend like that, they'd be dumped.  But, lucky for them, they treat family like that, and we give Grace, that God gives us.  So we LOVE them unconditionally!!
All in all, a rough morning.  I was happy for a great mother in law to give more love, when kids feel unloved and bring homemade cinnamon rolls at night!!!  (Yum, yes to all you Koeman siblings, we got the cinnamon rolls!!!)
At the end of the day, I can honestly say, we ended up ok.  A good lesson was learned, we did get some fun activities in and we'll try again tomorrow.  God's grace will see us through.

                    This girl got braces!!!

We spend a lot of time out here!  It's harvest time friends!

                             AND it was this girls BIRTHDAY!!!!!   Happy 17th birthday sweet girl!!!  Where did 17 years go!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Homecoming!!!  These girls are gorgeous!!! 

I have a love, hate relationship with social media.  I hate the time it kills.  I hate it that it takes the place of face to face social time with friends.  Sometimes I like to see the persons face and hear the tone when they say something.  Could be funny or sarcastic, that can't be replaced.  The comparisons are hard as well.  People feel they are, less than so and so, because of something they read or saw.  All in all, it takes strong people to be on social media. 
But things I love, funny stories and PICTURES!!!  I love pictures.  I love seeing kids grow up, people showing their passions, and funny lives.  I came across a picture of shoes this week.  Lot and lots of shoes!  Looked like my entryway daily.  But I often kick the shoes to the side and try to clear a path, complaining about, "why does nobody ever pick up their crap!"  This picture was of love, of all the people that were in the house.  A love of family and time together.  Don't you love those  Ahhh haa moments.  Sometimes I need to be reminded, they won't always be here.  Enjoy them.  Messiness and all. 
I also recently talked to someone.  She's a new grandma!  I asked, "How is it?  So fun!!  Are you there all the time?"  She gave me an analogy I wish I would've been told years ago.  She said, "we are so excited.  I want to be there all the time, but we need to find the balance and give them space."  She described her children growing up.  She said, "it's great.  We've prepared them to be on their own and soar. And they are.  But as parents you feel, left behind.  You are watching their life from the outside."  For some reason, that hit may.  Maybe because my own children are growing up, but more reflecting on my parents.  When I had littles, I felt like a burden to my parents.  Calling, asking for help, bothering them.  I think it's an age thing.  You're life and perspective changes when you get older.  But oh how I wish I was wiser then.  I want my kids to call and bug me!  The same as my parents want me too. 
With all that being said, my goal is to catch tidbits of wisdom from conversations and social media.  We have to find the good in it somewhere :)

I have had questions as to how Brooke is doing.  The quick answer is great!  She has her on and off again colds, but it doesn't get her down.  This August we were in Chicago with friends for a couple days.  She had a regular doctor appointment when we got home,  only to find out she had pneumonia.  In true Brookie fashion, it did not slow her down at all.  Gotta love that kid!  She has grown 3 inches and 6 months and she has her labs drawn in a couple weeks for her immune system. I don't suspect any surprises there.  So it's just business as usual over here.  Raising kids, one day at a time. 

Oh, for the sake of motherhood!

Last year was different.  My babies were starting school.  I was a bit sad, emotional, torn because they were growing up.  Fast forward to this year........in less than 2 weeks these kiddo's are heading to school!!!!  YIPPEEEE!!!!  I don't even feel like a bad parent.  I will admit, I felt slightly guilty at first when these feelings came over me.  But then I realized, my children are not perfect and neither am I.  When summer hits, we have to fit everything into a short amount of time.  Camping trips, pools, bike rides, walks, crafts, baking etc.  And too much fun and tiredness leads to fighting, bickering, talking back.  We've even had children forget to eat meals because they've been to busy doing something.

Structure is ok.  It'll be hard to get back into the swing of things, with bedtimes, homework, making lunches.  And we'll still have the Golden Girls bickering like 80 year old women, but hopefully less often.  Maybe their minds will be so filled with knowledge and love of others that we can all get along :)  Wishful thinking!!!  
With all that venting, we have 2 weeks and a lot has been packed into the next 2 weeks.  Chicago trips, Camp Geneva, and some day trips.  The house will not be cleaned and children have been told, "I dare you to have a knock out drag out fight.  Because I'd like nothing less than to cancel all plans and stare at you all day!"  Good parenting at it's best there :) 
So for all you parents that feel bad about being ok with school starting!  DON'T!!!  It's ok!!!  You are still a great parent!  God gives us Grace and it comes in many forms!!!  
Happy Summer to everyone!!!  I think parents deserve a coffee mug the first day of school that says, "We Survived Summer!"  
                                                           Birthday Girls!!

                                                            Leah and I ran a 5K for make a wish

Leah got stuck in the sand dunes :)  I was proud of her.  She composed herself well and proceeded to go back up test hill!  Definitely her father's daughter :)

                                                        Go cart troubles!!  Many hands make pushing easy!

Fun little walk.

 

If anyone has known me for a while they've heard about our porch.  It's an ongoing "joke" at the Koemans.  It started quite a few years back.  Our back porch has seen better days.  My husband says it's structurally sound, I beg to differ, but the point is someday, it needs attention. 
If you also know us, you know these decisions don't come easily.  Steve and I could never build a house, nor do we want to.  It's just not enjoyable for us.  We are content with what we have, but the porch still needs attention.  So we dream up plans.  They've been elaborate, some of our dreams, but when we see the price we laugh.  My husband has a Sunsetter in his plans, but I promise those are not in my final plans.  (I know many people that have them and that's great!  My parents are even getting one.  But I don't want one :) 
This is a conversation we talk about often.  Not as often anymore since we know what we want now. Now we just save up the funds and wait on God's timing.  As Steve and I were talking about future plans this week the subject came up.  We said, it'll happen, someday.  He said, "and if it doesn't, that's ok to."  Normally I would've protested that comment, but for some reason I said, "absolutely. If it's not in God's plan, that's ok." 
For some reason, that conversation keeps coming back to me.  You see, I've wanted that porch for a long time.  I would go to great lengths to get it.  But God has once again changed my heart.  If it happens, I'll be happy, but not having it doesn't make me unhappy.  I'm content.  God has given us so much, He supplies every need.  This is not a need.  This is not a salvation issue. 
This morning I turned to Ecclesiastes 3.There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
I read the chapter and then found it in different versions.  It's so fun to read.  To open our eyes and see God's greatness and how He works us through situations.  

Tomorrow is 21 years with this man!  I think I can honestly say, we've come along ways baby!!  Can't wait to see where else God will bring us.