Bragging rights!

Monday........1st day of school and I must say my girls looked so cute and excited! And they all had a great time. It's the beginning to a new year. Like my friend said, "buckle your seat belts, here we go!"

Brooke had IV meds today and she had a reaction and screamed at the top of her lungs. She knows how to make a scene at clinic. So they stopped her meds and gave her IV steroids. She was much happier after that. We did get some numbers back. It's kinda complicated but the "mature" T cells Brooke has always been zero. This week they were at 90. That is a vast improvement. Normal is 800, so there is a long way to go, but it's progress. I asked the MD about loosening the "house arrest" and letting Brooke out in the world a little. He said no :) OK, we won't push it. Brooke is also now at 6 months past her transplant so they will start to decrease some of her anti rejection IV's and see what happens. We will still give them 2 times a day, but just less amount. We have to watch her for reactions. So far, if everything keeps going in this direction we will wait it out and not rush into another transplant. Yeah Brooke! We have one more test we are waiting for.

My strep throat is better, gotta love antibiotics and so far no one else has gotten it. I've been lovin kissin and huggin my kids. Since illness doesn't mean life stops, my husband worked overtime last week. I had to work the weekend and Steve regrouped from the chaos. Laundry, cleaned, groceries, dishes WOW!!! The girls helped to. I must say, I am so fortunate! He was pretty excited to get outside tonight :)

We are once again seeing God's answers to prays. He is all around us, we just need to open our eyes. Look at the things that seem small, and you'll see His miracles. It doesn't have to be as intense as Miss Brooke :)

One funny thing before I end tonight.......Macy has realized her chest doesn't look like Brooke's. Brooke has many tubes coming from hers and tonight Macy unzipped her PJ's and was comparing them. It's funny, at their age she doesn't know which one is normal, she just thinks Brooke's looks like more fun! Who could blame her!!

Macy eating corn, I just thought it was funny.

Brooke had some better numbers on Monday. A few of her T cells are coming up, slowly. After all the results come in the MD states they will conference with other MD 's at Mayo and in Germany and see what the next step is. Brooke also went to the stomach MD and had an upper GI. The test showed a hernia which they said shouldn't cause any problems. The MD said there is nothing to do about her gagging and vomiting. He said, "I can't fix her." That is not a nice thing to tell a mom. But he was very kind, it's not his fault. Brooke has so many things going and so many reasons to not eat. We have to be happy that she is doing so well and is so happy through all of this.
I unfortunately have not been feeling well this week. I went to Prime care and had a strep screen and told them it was strep. Well, the test was negative, until today when the culture came back strep. Oh hah!!! At least I have been wearing a mask, washing and bleaching everything. We pray Brooke and the other girls don't get it. Mom's don't have time to get sick :) God gave us what we needed to get through it and next week is another week. The girls start school on Monday, so that is a new schedule. I will miss them so much as will the twins. But they are excited to see their friends and start a new year.
Macy is officially into everything! She now climbs, so she really gets into things. It's funny to watch. I wish I was as laid back with Leah and Megan as I am with the twins. I remember with them, have this worried feeling alot. I don't have that anymore. I realize these children are not mine, but a gift that we must enjoy as long as we can. Not being able to kiss them because of a sore throat is torture! I can't wait to get the antibiotics in me and annoy my children and love them!
Next week Brooke goes to clinic again on Monday. Thank you for the continued prays.

Fun week!

A week in review at the Koeman's. It's been a fun week. Friends invited us to their cottage for an interesting evening. I hope they still want kids after our crazy clan came over :) The girls got to go swimming off their pontoon boat. I honestly did not think they would go, so I didn't bring my suit. But Jenny was so nice and went with the girls! Then Megan decided to tell Ashley there was a spider on her! Ashley did not take a liking to that and announced to the WHOLE lake how displeased she was. All we could do was laugh and laugh (which didn't help the situation). Then while on the boat Macy decided to WALK!! Yes we have a walker and she didn't start on land! You would think seeing your 4th child walk wouldn't be so amazing, but it is. Everything these children do is a miracle. Dirk and Jenny have a dog, Lola, that is the size of a horse. Ashley did not like her (which I can now use as a discipline technique :), Macy did like her (go figure), and Brooke took one look at the dog and screamed! No problem with Brooke's eyes, or lungs for that matter. Lola, may have a complex now. It was a great night with friends and we just hope Dirk, Jenny and Lola are ok :)

LOLA!!

Ashley also started soccer. That is a big deal! She had her first practice and likes it alot. It's fun to watch her.

As for Brooke's over all health, not much change. She's on continuous feedings, which she try's to gag up now. She's only vomited once this week. Her runny nose is better, still has a cough. Her and Macy now hug and kiss each other so that's funny to watch. I'm glad they are interacting because the girls go to school in a week so they'll need to play with each other. Next MD visit Monday.

Macy loving Brooke.

Tick, tick, tick, tick

That's kind of the feeling around here. Like a time bomb! They drew labs for Brooke's T cells on Monday. Those go to Mayo. They will draw the rest of the labs next week Monday. Those go to Wisconsin. What will the results be??? Good, not good, average? What will her future hold, another transplant, no more transplants, can we get rid of the IV's, can we decrease her medications? Can we actually take her out in public???? So many questions but no answers. So we wait. She had IVIG (to increase her immune system) yesterday at clinic so that was a long day. They are checking on something new so that we can possibly do IVIG at home. It's kind of a process but I told them if it keeps us home more we can do it. Next week Monday she has an Upper GI to see why/how she is able to vomit, she goes to clinic and to see the surgeon. Dr. Mageed told me her stomach issues will not be fixed with this transplant. He said it will be "years and years before she eats." Did he have to add the 2nd "year" in there? Steve and I knew it wasn't going to be quick. Just to prove him wrong Brooke took part of my sandwich and shoved it in her mouth. Then she realized what she did and spit it out and coughed. We always have to try and prove others wrong :)

I read a devotional today about fear and courage, and it seemed to sum up my feelings. It said "fear tells us life is unpredictable, anything can happen, but courage replies...'Yes, but God is in control." When you look at life you realize this is it. You don't get to do this again. It again says "I want to live a passionate life. I want to recognize fear but move out with courage." "Life is tough but God is faithful." That is so true for us! Steve and I recognize the fear and live with it, but it will not consume us. God gives us the courage to realize it's in His hands and He will never leave us.

So what ever the answers in the up coming weeks, we will follow His plan. We pray He continues to open our eyes so we follow Him and have peace with His plan.

Beach week

Brooke is not really drinking that bottle, but it looks good :)

We left Monday afternoon for Holland State Park and stayed til Friday night. We had alot of fun! I did decide I am more of a pool person than the beach. It was hard because Brooke couldn't come down to the water or be outside much, so my mom would stay at the trailer with her. I also worked a couple days, so my mom and Aunt Brenda took care of the girls. THANK YOU!! Obviously, camping was a group effort :) We had one morning the girls were crabby, and me too. Breakfast was rough, but within an hour the girls were giggling so hard I had to see what they were doing. I laughed so hard I cried when I saw they had blown up water balloons and all had "perky" chests in their bathing suits :) I promised them I would NOT post the pictures. So crabbiness can turn around so fast. All in all, it was a great week full of memories and pictures. I pray Brooke will not be home bound come winter. We might go stir crazy. At least in the summer we can be outside.
No changes in Brooke. She is smiley, happy and cute! She did well camping, slept well most nights, and just hung out. It occurred to us MANY people stare at Brooke. We are ok with that, she's cute :) First people don't understand how we can have 2 babies such different sizes, second Brooke has all these tubes hanging from her. Some people ask and we are more than happy to share. I find it crazy the looks don't bother us. I didn't even notice til someone brought it to my attention. We are so happy God gave us 5 beautiful girls, I want the whole world to look :)

Sand, sand EVERYWHERE :)

Macy eating a corn dog.

I have so many more pictures, I wish I could post them all.

The start of a good week :)

Brooke August 2008

Brooke August 2009
The Family (kinda bright out)

Steve and his girls!

1 year

I'm sure the title seems random. One year from what?? Today, August 9, is 1 year from when we almost lost Miss Brooke. We went from Holland Hospital to Spectrum. We were in a small pink elevater with a doctor and nurse, I was holding Brooke on my lap, Steve had Macy and Brooke just couldn't do it anymore. The nurse kept rubbing her chest to make her breath, saying, "come on baby you can do this." I just remeber looking at Steve and seeing the tears. We both just stared at Brooke and the tears flowed. This was not happening! In the PICU, a nurse brought us to the waiting room and said, "the longer we are gone the better. It means the treatment is working. We'll come and get you." We clung to each other and cried, and prayed, and cried, and pleaded with God, "Please don't take her!"
As painful as that is to write and think about, I am staring at her, jumping in her Jump a roo, laughing and playing with her sister. It's been a fun week to think about our last year. Steve and I have both agreed, this has been the best year of our life. We are more in love with God, each other and our kids than we ever have been. We enjoy the good times and the bad times, because you never know when the times are going to end. We are so thankful for all God has given us. I can't discribed the overwhelming peace and hope that has over come us this past year. We are so blessed, and we know whatever the outcome, God will take care of us. How can anyone get through life without our wonderful Savior?
Today we are going to go have family pictures taken. The perfect day!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. " Jeremiah 29 :11-12

PRAISE GOD!

We have many reasons to praise God every day, today it's raining, and per my farmer husband, "it's like dollar signs falling from the sky." This is what farmers do when it rains, at the right time, of course. They stand and watch the rain. Sometimes they stand in the rain. Craziness!

Another Praise God...our friends daughter is coming home from Spectrum today! They will still have doctors visits and follow ups, but they can be a family again. YEAH GOD!!! Please keep Bethany in your prayers.

No internet!

I have not had Internet and I am very frustrated!!! I have realized I rely on technology too much. All is well. Steve went to clinic with Brooke on Monday and convinced them we don't need to come back til next week. WOW, a whole week without seeing any doctors. That is crazy and a touch scary. We know what to watch for but yet it's nice to have some reassurance. We do draw blood on Thurs and bring it to Holland lab. They don't plan yet to check her immune system for a few more weeks. I originally liked that idea but now I'm getting anxious. I want to know something! But when Steve and I talked about it, what do we want to know? We know she's not 100% better, so is 50% better going to make us happy? I guess we just want a plan.
Brooke is doing ok. Her feedings are still not her favorite time of day, so today I had to put her on continuous feedings so we can get her 700ml a day in. Otherwise she gaggs and vomits. I didn't want to do that but at this point whatever works. She rolled over this week by herself without even being mad. It was a voluntary thing. That's fun! And she's getting more aggressive with stealing Macy's pipe. That does not make Macy happy :)
With all my "free time" this week I didn't know what to do? Then I realized, without my mom at my house I have to do the laundry! YUCK!! My kids go through alot of clothes. Thanks mom for putting up with us :) Off to do laundry! Thanks for the prayers and we'll keep you updated as to how the "wait" is going.

The weekend.

Megs and I went to Chicago this weekend with friends, Missi and Grace. We took the train and stayed overnight Friday night. What a riot to watch 2, 7 year olds in American girl doll store. We also went to the zoo. It was fun to watch them and hear them giggle. Missi and I did our share of giggling too. What fun!!!

I had a nice talk with Brooke before I left. Last time I went to Chicago Brooke started all her "issues." So she behaved for her dad and didn't give him any hard times. And yeah for Steve, to take care off the girls, he was still smiling when we got home and the house was clean!!! What a great guy!!!

Leah got to go to Traverse City for a few days with a friend. She had a riot and it was great for her to get out of the house and experience something else. Something Steve and I can't offer her right now so we are so thankful Hannah took her with. She had fun and has been beaming with stories.

That's about it for our week. Brooke is the same. I can't say that I've seen her get much better, BUT I haven't seen her get worse either. God is giving us this time for a reason. We don't know why and we may never know why, but we will enjoy the time.

Psalm 62: 5-8 "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone: My hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation: He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God: He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people: Pour out your hearts to Him, For God is our refuge."