We live in a fast paced world. Life is full of deadlines, alarm clocks, fast food. We want everything NOW! We were again reminded that this life is not our time frame. Luckily we didn't have our hopes up for high numbers so I can't say we were totally disappointment, but there were no cart wheels in the hallways either (who am I kiddin, I can't do cart wheels :) Brooke's TREC numbers were 296, up from 211. Normal is 800. CD4 298, up from 246. Normal 1000. This tells us her immune system is at 35% of a normal person. Sounds depressing BUT June of 2009 her immune system was at 0%. So that is actually a pretty good jump. At least it's in the right direction. Dr Mageed was so kind and said this process takes grueling patience! It's not for the weak. (I took that as a challenge, We are NOT weak :) Brooke wasn't a candidate to have a transplant with chemo, and even now the risks to her long term health are SOOOO great if she had chemo. So if we can have patience, keep her healthy and wait, the outcome, we pray, will be rewarding. After Steve and I chatted, aired out the pro's and cons, it comes down to this......if we were told her immune system was 100% what would that change? Would we take her out? Where would we go? What would we do differently? NOTHING! We have kept her in a bubble for so long that we also need this slow process to ease her into the world. Someday she will have the party that all of our girls deserve, to tell them how awesome they are, until then we hang out. We will take the challenge of patience. I can say what I miss most is going anywhere as a family. It breaks my heart when Steve, I and the girls go away with out Brooke. I can't wait for summer so we can be outside and feel whole.
Brooke's arm seems to be healing well. She wears the splint during the day, just to protect it, and has it off at night. I looked for clothes for her this weekend. I told Steve I was mad that no one makes things that fit tubes out of your chest, a tube out of your stomach and a splint. We've resorted to scissors, we'll make them fit somehow :)
I was reminded this week how everyone has trials. Health issues, marriage issues, death of a loved one, unemployment.....it seems people we know are dealing with so much. I found myself angry many times this week at other peoples situations. Why do people have to go through this??? This Sunday we were reminded we go through this to increase our dependence on God. The pastor said "God perfects us through suffering?" Where would we be without our Heavenly Father holding us and walking us through? It brings a smile to my face to imagine but it makes my heart overjoyed to know, through Him we can all do this. It's not the situation, it's the Christian attitude we face the situation with. Peace and Patience to you all!
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