It"s all good! (a post I forgot to publish :)

Ephesians 4:1-2

4 Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. ² Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

 

It was another morning when I read my devotions and said, "ok God, I get it."  I had definitely calmed down since the Friday phone call that surgery was cancelled.  But I had still planned to call the insurance and see what my role was in this process.  As I read my devotions it states to "make allowances for one another."  It states that doesn't mean making excuses for wrong behavior but it means to allow people to be less than perfect. Because that's what we all are.  It was obviously a mistake that was made.  Nothing that can be done now.  I waited til 10:30 and I called the insurance company.  I strangely, got a human being to talk to right away.  I barely got Brooke's name out of my mouth and this poor lady was, "we are working hard on this mam.  We have people on the phone right now."  WOW, Ok!  To my surprise I responded, "no hurry at this point, just wondered how things were going."  Had a great conversation and by 11am we had approval by the insurance.  I did apologize to her and stated, I will be calling prior to surgery, just to make sure.  She agreed :)  The urologist office called and rescheduled it for January 23. 

All has worked out for the best.  I had planned to work Tuesday, Wednesday, whenever I could.  Don't really want to "waste" my vacation.  However, being home with sick kids is not a waste.  We currently have Megan and Ashley down for the count.  Fever, vomiting and diarrhea.  Ashley didn't move for about 2 days and slept about 20 hours.  That is SOOOO not her!   Not cool at all!  Macy, Leah and my poor mom have already had it.  That leaves Brooke, Steve, myself and dad yet to fall. We hope the virus stops here but we don't know our future.  It's nice to hug my ladies and love them.  We sure did miss them while we were gone.  There were so many times Steve and I said, "the girls would love this."  But it was also nice to be able to talk to Stevie and not be interrupted :)
Friday Brooke has a follow up with her pulmonologist and lab work for her Raynauds.  It's all good :)

Cancellation!

Steve and I are in Florida with friends. Friday we got back to the condo and there were 3 messages on my phone and someone had been calling Steve's. It was her urologist. It seems the insurance didn't want to approve Brookes surgery for Monday. They called in October and the insurance said we didn't need pre approval but I guess they changed their minds. To say we were devastated is an understatement. There were many tears shed. We wanted her physician who is retiring December 31. But he reassured me he'd do his best to be there and if he can't she'll still be in good hands. He's a great guy and I understand his hands are tied. We've had a little time to think about it and we know it is in God's hands. I have to understand our insurance has spent over a million dollars in Brooke. They aren't going to take things lightly. And we have time and patience. God has brought us so far He won't leave us now. We will keep you posted when we hear more.

We will be home from Florida tomorrow night. We can't wait to hug our little ladies. And again thank God for trusting us to raise them. As well as hug our parents for giving us this time as a couple to laugh, relax and enjoy each other. 

Sunday Chaos!

My brother has told me, some days it's ok to stay home from church.  You might get more out of worshiping Him at home.  This morning I think I was more of the problem than the kids.  I'm not sure.  Everyday my children get dressed on their own, for some reason on Sundays, the younger 3 N E E D  H E L P!!  In a whiny voice.   GEEEESH!!  We have our routines, we get it figured out. 
Then there's another child that prefers running pants and sweatshirts to anything else in life.  She knows she cannot wear those to church, but she still tries to sneak in the fuzzy boots or something.  So we put that small fire out.   Then the big one has grown out of EVERYTHING!  Saturday I went and bought her a couple sweaters to try.  I was very proud of myself. She was with friends so couldn't come with me but we had to make it work.  Well the sweaters "we're itchy"  and "a TURTLENECK?"  (I kinda agree we don't really do turtle necks at the Koemans, but it looked good on the manikin :)  So frustrated again! 
On the way to church I am giving Leah a sermon, before we even get to church.  Telling her how SICK of the clothing situation I am!!  And she says, "yeah I agree, I'm sick of it too!" 
Then I realized I'm yelling at my kid for something she has no control over.  For being tall.  All of our beautiful ladies have their own style, which I love.  They are really not high maintenance girls.  They don't ask for much.  And I caught myself yelling at my kid for being the way her father and I are.  Wow, I wasn't sure how to respond to that.  I should really be yelling and Steve and myself. 
Live and learn I guess.  Leah is aware she's our guinea pig with the whole parenting thing and mistakes will be made.  Which they were today. 
So back to the stores tomorrow night, or maybe some online shopping to find the TALL shirts, that she picks out herself :) 

Brooke has her preop visits this week.  So far no one else has gotten sick.  We are so fortunate.  Then she'll be on for surgery December 16.  We'll keep you posted next week after the surgery.  She seems ready.  I know there is fear of the unknown but we just keep praying her through that.  She asked last week to go see Miss Nora.  That was her feeding therapist.  So I emailed her and she is working Tuesday when we are at Brooke's appts.  So we hope to stop in and see her.  We feel we owe her so much. We are so grateful for the hours of work she put into Brooke and us, so Brooke would eat. And she didn't give up, even when we wanted too.  I'm not sure how to thank someone for that.   M&M's don't seem to cover the gratitude we have. 
Happy Christmas preparing everyone!  Enjoy your shopping, baking and decorating!  Jesus is all the Reason and deserves all the Glory!

MAN DOWN!!!!

We were warned this weekend, that the stomach flu was going around. We were getting play by play of my nephews, and in laws getting sick.  The last text, "be afraid, be very afraid!"  So, I can't say we weren't warned. I had the buckets and towels ready, and our 1st soldier to fall is Macy.  Started yesterday, and she's still on the couch.  Poor lady!!!  She hasn't vomited but she's quite vocal about her stomach hurting. 

I brought Brooke to school alone today.  When I picked her up I asked her how it went without her sister?  She said, "good!  She always talks over me and I FINALLY got to talk!"    Hmmmm, that maybe somewhat true, but Brooke always makes sure she's heard.  When we got home Brooke made sure Macy knew how everyone missed her and that they prayed for her.   So sweet!!!

This afternoon, we found enough energy to play a few games, and then back to sleep. 

 I have been cleaning, washing sheets, bleaching counters, light switches and door handles; moping floors, and spraying the Lysol.  The funny part is, they have all, already been exposed.  So my efforts are in vain.  I just pray Brooke doesn't get it.  And if she does it's a quick recovery.  Steve and I leave for Florida next week and then she has surgery after that.  It's all in God's hands and timing, so I  must give it back to Him.

We got our benches :)  We now look like the Walton's when we eat.  I told Steve there is now room for 1 more.   HAHAHA that was a funny statement.  We invite friends and family over at anytime!  There is always extra room on the bench :)  I think Megan is just happy to have a seat and not the high chair. 
Have a great week!  Stay healthy!!

All I wanted...............

I was excited for Saturday.    My mom and I were headed to Indiana to pick up benches I ordered for our kitchen table.  I was excited about the benches but more important I got to be with my mom ALL DAY!  You see, I grew up the only daughter.  My mom and I did everything together.  Where she went, I went.  And, I can't really speak for her, but, I think, we had some fun times.  As the years have gone by and the children kept coming, the time alone that my mom and I get is slim.  I was looking forward to this.  Unfortunately we were unable to watch the weather (because our dog chewed the cable TV wires off our house!) and the weather was less than optimal.  However we were off.  I was certain we were going to drive out of it.  Once we got to Allegan, I stopped and called Steve. (for some reason him looking at the weather on his phone is easier than me doing it).  But we proceeded on until we hit the big hill in Allegan, which was closed, due to many slide offs and semi's unable to get up the hill.  So we turn around.  Now what?  I was not ready to give my mom up, but we felt we couldn't ditch the kids all together and how far are we going in this weather?  So we hung out at our house for a little while.  Leah discovered that Peach wave was raising money for Bone marrow transplants.  What a perfect place to go on a cold, blustery day.  Downtown for Frozen Yogurt!  From there we headed to the grocery store to buy things for Devos Oncology wish list.  It ended up being a great day with my mom.  I wish it was longer, but we get to do it again.  Maybe this time we'll make it all the way to get the benches. 

The snow is out and so are the snow mobiles!!!  Whoooo hoooo!  Now Stevie just needs to get a helmet to fit his noggin.  I love him the way he is and the snowmobile goes fast!  I told him I'm a busy lady.  If he has a brain injury I'm not sure I have time to take care of him.
 Brooke did pretty well in the snow.  We are thinking Hot Hands are going to be her friend.  We had them stuck on her feet and hands.  We came inside and I asked how her hands were.  She said, "their great.  They aren't white, they are purple."  Sure enough, purple hands.  Hmmmm, As long as it doesn't damage her it's fine with me. 

Happy Thanksgiving  everyone!  What an amazing time of year to hug your loved ones and give God the thanks for all He has done for us.  Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for the 5 ladies, amazing husband, terrific parents, family and friends God has placed in my life. 

Food for thought!

 I've said before, there are certain foods I will run out, at almost any time, and buy.  This week I was told on Monday and Tuesday am, "there's no cereal!"  There actually was cereal.  2 boxes, but no one wanted those.  I guess Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Raisin Bran are poisonous, according to Ashley and Steve.  So I said, how bout bagels, toast, eggs, waffles.  You see my point?  We had LOTS of food.  But we, at the Koemans, are creatures of habit.  I tend to think someday, my children are going to be on their own and wonder, "why did my mom ALWAYS buy the same food?"  It's because we are boring.  So Wednesday I head to Walmart.  Not because I like Walmart, but because they have the cheapest cereal.  And I bought 15 boxes of cereal.  They had some roll back prices.  WHOOO HOOO!!!  My mom was like, "this is going to last you a long time."  I WISH!!!  These cereal eating monsters will have it gone in no time. 

With that being said, I added up, we spend $25 a month on smoked sausage, aka "smoky links."   Guess who eats them?  Yup Brooke.  So I bought a different brand, in a case.  AND........she stopped eating them.  Really..........1st the cereal monsters and now the sausage.  She assures me, she just decided she wanted toast this week.  We'll see.  In the big picture, smoky links are MUCH cheaper than tube feedings.  Those were $3000 a month. 

Stevie is DONE!!  Thursday we watched the combine drive into the driveway.  We were excited for him (and us).  So I felt slightly bad when I said, "I have plans.You can come with me if you want."  He declined.  He texted me this picture later at night.  I showed it to my friends who thought the twins were faking.   Oh No!  This man, still rocks his 5 year old daughters to sleep and they all LOVE it!  Daddy's home girls!!!!  :)

So, our cupboards are full and daddy's home, so our hearts are full.  I pray for the remainder of farmers that are not done yet.  The wind and rain are not a welcome sight.  God is always in control. 

 

 

Psalm 67:5-7

New International Version (NIV)

⁵ May the peoples praise you, God;
    may all the peoples praise you.

⁶ The land yields its harvest;
    God, our God, blesses us.
⁷ May God bless us still,
    so that all the ends of the earth will fear him.

Thankful!

I see the posts on facebook, each day people post what they are thankful for.  I think that's a great idea.  It's fun to read.  I don't partake because, I'm not on facebook everyday and I know don't know where to start.  I have so much to be thankful for..............but today something/someone stood out.   My husband!  He won't like this post, but since I'm not sure he knows how to post, I can :) 
Last night we were talking about nearing the end of harvest.   Praise the Lord!  We miss him.  Our home is not the same without him.  He is finished with his crops and is onto helping others.  So this week, weather permitting, he'll be done.  We talked about the hours he works and how single parenting isn't all that much fun.  Each stage has it's own struggles and this age is definitely better than the infant ages, so I TRY not to complain.  
This morning we got up and it's back to the grindstone.  Steve is gone by 6am, and I start getting kids up and going.  1 child was laying on the couch already.  That's not a good sign.  Megs didn't feel well.  Hmmmmmm..........plan B (yet I did not know what that was.)  I called work and said I had a sick kid.  I told them I'd see the patients I had, but couldn't take any more.  I delivered children where they needed to go.  I came home.  I left early to get the twins from preschool to go see a patient.  My husband calls at 11am and says, "I'm rained out, what can I do to help you?"   FOR REAL!!!!  I thought, "how selfless."  He went to get the twins and head back home. (The twins were SOOOOO excited dad picked them up from school.  I heard about it all day!)  I texted Megs and told her dad was on his way home.  She said, "I know he stopped in to make sure I was ok."  What a great guy.  He had lots of work to do yet, in the office, fixing stuff and the list goes on, but he stopped, because he could :)  (please don't feel bad for me.  I didn't call anyone for help today.  I knew that we could get by without bugging anyone else.  I don't want to hurt my mom or mother in laws feelings.  They totally would've helped me, I have a problem with asking :)
It's nice to have him home.  1 more week and we should be golden.  We just run more smoothly as a team.  Meg's is feeling better and we hope the illness stops at her.  If Brooke gets sick her surgery will be postponed.  Even though it's 6 weeks away, once she gets an illness, she likes to keep it.  So, we pray, she escapes it.  
I'm not sure I updated on Brooke's last labs.  Her immune studies have stayed about the same.  Nothing to earth shattering there.  It appears what she has is working for her.  Her varivax (chicken pox) titer was negative again.  Which means once she gets the immunization her body is not remembering it and she's not immune.  Her MD wants to try again in January.  He really feels her body will catch onto this.  Steve and I agree, we'll try once more.  But not sure how many more vaccines we want to give if they aren't going to work.  We'll just wait and see :) 
Have a great Thanksgiving Season!  Love your loved ones and enjoy the time together. 



 

Isaiah 40: 29-31  (The Lord) gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall: but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar and on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 

I opened my devotions this am to read this. It also explained, the world we live in, weakness is often pitied.  It talked about how much money and time is spent on strengthening bodies and buying stimulants to avoid/mask weariness.  Weakness and weariness are part of life.  Part of this fallen world we live in. 

Once again it's what I needed to start my week.  This past week took it's toll on me.  The end of harvest is nearing and all parties involved are feeling it.  We get sick of being on our best behavior and we all act out (I'm not just talking about the kids.  Steve and I are to blame too :)  We feel we have to paint on the smile and say, "this is great, we are fine."  In the end, we are fine!  But, I believe, it's ok to tell these kids, mama's tired.  5 of them going 5 different directions.  1 of me.  They all seemed to get it and we re-grouped.  My question is, why do we look at other means for help?  God is the only one who can cure our weariness.  He will pick us up and carry us through.  All the coffee in the world can't do that :) 

 

Here are a couple of pics of the girls trick or treating.  So much fun with great grandpa and grandma.  We made our family rounds, and then  Saturday night we did trunk or treating with church.  Candy candy and more candy.  Our sitter asked what our rule is on candy.  How many pieces the kids can have?   That question has stuck with me.  An organized mom would have a plan.  But this is me :)  I have a child that ate a candy bar so fast she puked.  She's never done that again.  I just figure when all the good candy's gone they'll stop.  Or they'll get sick.  So far, so good.  



Pet peeve!  NO ONE listens to me!  Why do I speak?  I'm not always sure if I talk to the wrong kid.  Like maybe I told Ashley something and I thought I told Megan.  That's a possibility.  Maybe I said something in my head and the words never came out of my mouth.  Or maybe, my children tune me out.  I'm guilty of tuning out as well.  My remedy.  I stopped talking.  I wrote notes.  I read them to the twins and they are in compliance thus far.  We'll see how long this last. 

And the twins...........they showed their daddy their note about the father/daughter night.  His response was, I probably have to work but we'll see.  The twins didn't really take that for answer.  But we don't really have another answer.  If the weather is right Steve has to work.  You can't just stop farming for an hour.  It's a system, and if one part stops, the whole system is broken.  For the rest of us Koeman's, we completely understand.  The twins have been baby'd by their father for 5 years.  Daddy says "yes" a lot!  He still rocks them to sleep if he can.  So them begging him is comical to me.  Lucky for me Grandpa Blueberry came home from Florida. (or lucky for the twins uncle's I was going to start bugging :) So they talked to him.  He said, "you girls see how the weather is Thursday.  If your dad can't go, you call me and I'll take you."  They are ESTATIC! It's fun to see them so excited.  I told the girls I'd take them.  They said, "it says in the notes NO MOMS!"  Yup that was true.  So I told them I'd dress up like a man and take them.  It'd be like Halloween.  They didn't think that was funny either :)  So, we have a plan.  Please, don't think bad of my amazing husband.  This is farming life.  We are aware and it's completely ok.  He works these crazy hours a few months out the year and the rest of the year, he doesn't have to miss a thing (he even gets to stay home with them when they are sick, that's his favorite hehe).
Have a blessed day!  When you grow weary look to the One who can carry us through.  (and a nap never hurts either :)

Koeman update

The twins had grand parents day.  I got to help with juice and cookies.  It brought tears to my eyes to watch.  I didn't feel bad because there was another mom crying too. These kids are so passionate!  It's absolutely amazing to witness!  Love them! 

What happens when a farmer runs over his lunch box and water jug?  Yup, Steve calls and says guess where my lunchbox and water jug are?  In a million pieces in the field. You're suppose to take those off the tractor tires before you leave with the tractor.  Silly boy.  So off to Meijer, (because a lunch box is kinda an emergency).  The girls had to text him a picture to make sure he approved.  His water jug has pink on it.  They thought that was soooo funny :)

FIELD TRIP!!!  The twins had a field trip to Post farms.  Very fun and cute.  They LOVED it!  I am loving having these two.  I don't know if it's because they are my last ones this age or just life experiences but parenting at 38 is more fun than parenting in my 20's (just my opinion).  When I was younger I felt rushed, structured, very agenda driven.  Our thought process has changed and this is just fun!!

 Mystery dinner!  Some friends and I went to a Mystery Dinner.  We had to dress up for the Roaring 20's.  WHOOO HOOOO!  It was very fun.  We are not really good detectives, but we looked GOOD and we had FUN!  That's all that matters :)

 This is what I found in my fridge.  At our house, we know not to eat the strawberries.  They are Brooke's.  Well I had just bought these and thinking they were still in the container I took them out.  All EATEN strawberry hulls.  GROSS!  Brooke ate them all, down to the tops and put them back.  I texted this picture to my mom and was like, "what the world?"

 I then walked into the bathroom to help the twins wash their hair and I find THIS on the shelf.  2 hunks of turkey!  I said, "Brooke what are you doing?"  She said, "Well, I can't eat it in the bath tub, so I'm saving it for after."  I am now scared to open any cupboards.  Who knows what she has hiding.  With that being said the feeding tube is scheduled to be removed Dec 16.  We have a date, and she's super excited! (for it to be gone, not for surgery) 

 Last but not least, the 1st paper is what the twins came home with from school.  November 7 a FATHER/DAUGHTER preschool night. The twins were SOOOO excited to show me and can't wait to show Steve.  The girls are young and this is their 1st year in school.  They don't really understand, during harvest daddy works.  NOTHING stops him.  We don't try to stop him.  We had Leah in October. Steve took off for the birth and then Leah and I were in the combine with him (no lie).  So I tired to let them down easily and explain this.  They are NOT taking WORK for an answer.  They even pleaded, "he won't take off work for one hour to be with us."  Oh boy!  So below is also their note to him (with Megan's help).  I called Steve to warn him.  The note lays on the table and awaits him tonight.  The girls even have their outfits laid out.  I honestly have no idea how this will play out.  I told the girls I will take them and their response was, "mom's aren't allowed, our teacher said so."  I'm hoping this plays out in their favor or we may all cry :(  I'll keep ya posted!

Mini Me!

I'm not sure my daughter likes that label, but it's been said time and time again.  If you saw pictures of me when I was young, their is a very strong resemblance.  Today my mini me turned 15.  Holy cow!  I remember bringing her home from the hospital and feeling so inadequate!  Steve always laughed and reminded me I was a pediatric nurse (at that time).  I wasn't worried about killing her :)  I was worried about messing her up.  What did I know about parenting?  Nothing!!  These kids come with no instructions.  My fear was that she has to talk to a psychiatrist someday and starts out with, "you won't believe how my mom raised me......."   hehehe  Well, I'm over that now.  I have just learned to have fun with this whole parenting business.  I know there are things I've screwed up on. I try to apologize as soon as I realize what I did.  But I am also stubborn, like her, and some things I'm just pretty sure I'm right about.  Poor kid. 

Happy Happy Birthday, sweet sweet Leah Rosa!  Thank you for teaching me how to be a mama.  And having patience with me.  We will learn this whole growing up thing together :)  Love ya!!

Results are in......sort of!

We got CAT scan results.  I haven't seen them, but the pulmonologist called me and said, her current CAT scan actually looks better than her last one.  So that's a good thing.  And her swallow study was normal (for the numerous time).  It appears her "funny" breathing may be from a hernia she has developed from her nissen (the thing that helps her not to vomit).  We've known the hernia is there, just never correlated the two.  So I called her primary MD and asked if they'd send of the referral to get her feeding tube out.  Then I called the surgeon and said, "ok lets do this."  Then I called the urology surgeon and said, "ok, get this scheduled."  So, it appears Brooke will be having surgery in December to have her feeding tube removed, hernia checked (maybe repaired), and urology surgery. 

As I was talking to friends today, they were saying, "never a dull moment huh?"  Which is so true, we wouldn't want to get too comfortable over here.  However, these are issues Brooke has had for a long, long time.  We never addressed them because we didn't think we had too.  She was always so sick, we honestly thought, the chances of her making it to school is slim, let alone anything else.  So, to us, this almost feels like a small victory.  We made it!  She made it!  God gave us another chance and entrusted us to raise her, love her and make it through another step. 

Brooke has an appointment with bone marrow team next week.  That will tell us her immune system numbers and vaccine titers.  It's been 6 months, so I am interested in those.  Not sure why I care anymore, but curiosity gets me.    As much as all the chatter and busyness gets to me sometimes, I am so in Love with each and every one of these ladies.  I am eternally grateful Steve and I have been given this opportunity to raise these girls and love them.  As crazy as it gets, we know His amazing love, grace and understanding will carry us through. 

 As you know, pictures make me smile.  At times, they make me cry :)  We are so blessed with all these ladies and family and friends that love them!  Above are my grandparents with their Great-daughters.  Pure Joy!  Thank you Jesus!

A good day........

A good day to me is a day I don't check my emails.  For some reason the numerous emails that fly into my in box in a day cause me grief.  It's not that I don't love technology, I do.  Especially when it's used for good.  But sometimes I think we have taken it a little too far. 
As you all know, we have 5 kids, in school.  So that's a lot of emails coming from school.  When they used paper, they tried to "conserve" the paper, so we got 1 paper the end of the week.  Now they just "shoot us a quick email."  Maybe a lot of it's the beginning of year stuff, but I'm sorry to say, unless it's short and sweet I don't even process it.  It appears now on line you can check your kids grades before they even get home, you can look up what your kids choose to eat at lunch every day (at least in high school), you can sign up for anything from potlucks, conferences to field trips,  I'm surprised we don't get an email when our kids go to the bathroom!  I am probably embellishing how irritating some of this is :)  I do appreciate all the work that goes into this, and it does make our lives easier, in the end, I guess.
My point is, our kids go to school to learn some independence.  If we are constantly micro managing, is that helping them make life decisions.  I recall in high school drinking mello yellow and eating brownies OFTEN as intake for a meal.  I recall my mom telling me that was gross, but that's only because I told her I was eating that.  She put well balanced food on the table for dinner to help with my sketchy choices.  I learned that I couldn't live off pure sugar.  (But oh I wish I could!)
I had a daughter come home today. I said, "anything good happen today?"  She said, "nah."  I said, "anything bad happen?"  She said, "nah."  I said, "anything happen at all?"  She' said, "I got everything wrong on my math test."  I said, "oh, that sucks.  What ya going to do about that?"  She explained she fixed it and all was good.  She also explained she did the same thing wrong on every problem.  So we talked about how technically she only got one wrong, she just kept making the same mistake.  If I would've read that on the computer, I probably would've jumped to conclusions and the conversation wouldn't have taken place. 
There are some things computers can't replace.  Conversation.  Talking with your kids and friends about what's going on in their life.  (however with the twins I need the assistance.  Them two are in ka hoots and won't tell me anything :) 
I write all this on a computer, that I post on my blog :)  Obviously I'm not that against technology, just had to vent about something hehe.
Brooke had her CAT scan and swallow study today.  She ROCKED the swallow study.  They asked why we were doing this.  I said, "To prove to doctors that she can swallow without difficulty."  She proved it.  Their only observations was how slow she eats.  I explained this is FAST compared to how she use to eat. 
She did great on the CAT scan as well.  Walked up and crawled right onto the machine.  Did everything they asked and we were off.  It's the 1st time she cooperated with that test so well.  We wait for those results and carry on with life. 
Praying for some dry, fall weather.  Happy Harvest!  I better go check me emails :)

Spoke to soon!

I've tried to go back and figure out what Brooke updates I've given.  I think the last was GI.  In my last post I commented on how smooth/easy life was going.  It still is, I guess I just got my undies in a bunch this week. 
Brooke went to urology this week.  And we decided to proceed with a urology surgery she needs.  Our urologist is retiring and he feels it's the best time.  Since we'll be scheduling that, we figured now is the best time to take out her feeding tube.  1 stop shopping.  So we get the ball rolling with scheduling.  As I was waiting for the call from scheduling with a date, I get a call from pulmonology (her lung MD).  They said her chest xray had "increased inflammation" and we needed to do further testing.  They feel it's from refluxing.  She had an upper GI that did not show any refluxing and her nissen (so she can't vomit) is intact (for the most part) so that shouldn't be right.  But they ordered a CAT scan.  Because of the abnormal CXR they don't want to approve her feeding tube being removed til they are certain she is swallowing and eating ok, so they want a swallow study.  My head was spinning. I explained to them she's had numerous swallow studies and all normal.  But they have to "make sure."
After about a zillion phone calls (that might be exaggerated) to her MD's, I've come to the conclusion, "whatever."   Very deep, I know :)  I know they have her best interest at heart but when you are in the medical field you tend treat the disease and the findings.  We are her family, we treat Brooke. And if you know her, she doesn't appear nearly as messed up as her medical charts say she is. 
This week, I plan to first of all, calm down :)  I still have a family to run, my husband has harvest to contend with.  Brooke is in no distress, so there are no worries.  Second, I plan to call pulmonology and get a copy of her last chest xray.  I need to see for my own eyes what her results were and the fuss is about.  It's just the way I am.  Third, we go to Devos Tuesday for a swallow study and CAT scan.  This is a normal routine for us, so it's ok.  I pray the results come back quickly so we can proceed with our initial plan. 
His plan is always greater than ours.  Trust and follow Him!

Fall update!

Fall is here!  We have a very happy farmer.  He LOVES this time of year, which makes us LOVE it as well.  He works crazy hours and, most of the time, with a smile on his face.  I'm so thankful for cell phones and buddy seats in the combine.  That way the girls get their daddy fix as well.  The older the girls get, the easier this gets. 

This is one of our farm girls :)  When we bring the guys food, most of the time, some child wants to ride with dad. If we aren't close to home we hang out and wait.  I treasure the times laying in the grass with my girls, talking, trying to make grass whistle or just being silly. 

 I posted the last picture because.........this is the same "farm girl."  Her daddy had a REALLY hard time with this.  None of it made sense to him.  Why the need to dress up? Why the need to go out with friends? Why the big deal?   I remember my first homecoming.  It was a big deal.  And it's fun to dress up once in awhile.  So I texted Steve the above farm girl and the below.  Same girl, different clothes.  Beautiful inside and out!!!  So proud of her!!  She looks amazing, no matter what she wears :)

 I love the stages of all my girls, but it is hard to see them grow up.  So I had to post a picture of the twins in their footie PJ's.  Still cuddly!  (and they are clean, that's a rare occasion these days :)

 This guy, Jack, has caused us grief these days.  He seems to have found a "girlfriend" and it's been a chore to keep him around the Koeman compound.  So after picking him up a couple times (5+ miles away), we fixed the underground fence and he took a little trip to the vet.  He has been sticking around again (hopefully forever!)  I ask myself why I let a silly dog cause me grief.  The picture below tells it all.  She LOVES Jack!  And he Loves her!  He is not an indoor dog, but she tends to sneak him in and play. 

One last picture.  This dear man makes me smile.  He is the most sensible man I know.  And God knew exactly what He was doing when he put us together. Stevie has been looking at snowmobiles for about a year now.  He thought if he looked at them the "itch" would go away.  But it did not.  So he talked to a bunch of his friends about it.  They just fueled the fire :)  But they asked a good question.  "When was the last time you spent money on you?"  The last time Steve spent money on himself has been a long, long time.  He occasionally hunts, but since the twins, that has even dwindled.  After all his searching it seemed that a snowmobile was what he REALLY wanted.  So more research went into this.  What kind, what size, how many hours etc etc.  This weekend he went to "look" at one.  I asked if he needed the money.  I think he thought if he didn't bring the cash then he couldn't buy it.  JUST BUY IT ALREADY!!!!    So he bought it!   I think he's happy.  He's in shock that he did something so irrational (for a Koeman :).  He bought something for the sheer fun of it.  I pray there is snow this year so he can go and have fun, but be safe!! We need to go buy a really good helmet for this precious man! :) 

That is about it for us. I had the girls at work and a co worker stated how fun it was to see Brooke.  The little girl she prayed for so intensely, and how great she is doing now.  I told her, it seems as if life is going, too good.  Too easy. It sounds dumb, but some days I feel like I'm just floating through and enjoying every minute of it.  The girls are getting older.  We can carry on conversations with all of them. You can reason with them.  Optioncare, our medical place for Brooke, came and picked up Brooke's IV pole and feeding pump.  It was like saying good bye to the past.  Brooke has more MD appts this week and the middle of October.  She may be getting her feeding tube removed the end of the year.  We will hopefully know that by next week.  We are just going to enjoy this ride and thank the Lord daily for His continued Blessing on us.  We see Him and feel Him.  And are so blessed. 

Happy Parenting..............

Mornings at the Koeman's have come a long way over the past 19 years.  When Steve and I first got married we quickly learned mornings were not our time to shine.  The 1st 4 years of marriage we worked opposite shifts and that was best for a happy marriage.  Then we both were working days and we learned how to love each other, silently, in the morning.  We just went about our routines.  Then children came into the mix.  They didn't realize our vow of silence in the morning and we again had to re learn our system.  Unfortunately our learning curve didn't go without a lot of yelling and rough mornings.  Our mornings just got off on the wrong foot.  I'm so happy those days are done and we are wiser!

This week, the girls were getting ready for school.  One girl was being poky, (she's not the poky one), brushing her teeth (she doesn't always even brush her teeth!) I said calmly, "the bus will be here soon."  No response.  Steve walks into the bathroom, calmly and kindly, "hey, they bus will be here in one minute."  She roams into the kitchen.  One of the girls says, "I think I see the bus."  Another girl says, "BUS!"  To which poky explodes, "WHAT!!!! NO ONE TOLD ME IT WAS CLOSE TO THE BUS COMING.  GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!"   Steve held up the backpack, I stood by the door with the lunch.  All the while we smiled and said, "have a great day!" 

First of all............She's definitely our child.

Second................I felt this gnawing urge to apologize to our first born for all the crazy mornings!  Typical Steve and Shelly would've yelled and hurried her along.  I'm not sure where the new Steve and Shelly came from, but I like them :)  I think the combination of being given a 2nd daughter that is so laid back hardly ANYTHING gets to her, and going through Brooke's life saga, we've chilled out.  And I like it!!   Thank you Jesus for transforming us!!  I pray He continues!

 



 

These pictures are proof of how GREAT our GOD is!!  They make me smile and cry! 

You go girls!!!  Represent your school with Joy!! 

 

One week down................

We have 2 EXCITED and tired girls at this house.  Young 5's is a hit!  The first day parents went with.  The next morning Steve told the girls he was going with, they said, "you aren't invited and neither is mom."  Ok!  Brooke informed me there are people that need me and I should go take care of them (meaning, I better go to work :)  Smart girl.  It really went well.  They wish they could stay longer.  Next year ladies!

Overall we've dove right in.  I haven't had any time where the twins are at school and I've had nothing to do.  So far when they go to school, I go to work.  The first few weeks are always fast and furious.  All the parent meetings, let alone normal life (church, work, laundry) kept this week hopping.  On Wednesday Ash said, "don't forget my parent meeting tonight."  I didn't forget, I was not planning to go.  Steve had a church meeting, work was crazy busy (job security) and I was on call. Luckily I know Ashley's teachers, so I told her, "I'm not going.  I'm going to tuck you into bed tonight." It didn't bother her at all, and she was more than happy to have me home.  I'm teaching my children maybe a not so good lesson, I guess it depends on your view.  There is not much in life that is "mandatory."  That is a word I strongly dislike. I worked for many years in an office/corporate world.  And that word dictated much of my schedule and caused un needed stress.  The only thing you have to do in life is breathe and die (ask my dad, he'll tell ya :)  There are many other things, obviously, that we do.  But how we go about it is an individual decision. 
Looking back on our week the only thing I would've changed is to do my devotions every morning.  It makes for a much better day for me.  Gives me perspective and meaning.  A couple days this week I needed some perspective.  But we made it through and will continue on. 
My feelings on the twins going to school...........because they are so excited, we are very excited.  We are not frightened about illness or the unknown.  That is up to the Lord.  I can't tell you how many prayers have been said to get Brooke to this day.  I have prayed more and cried more about the thought that she might not get to have this experience with Macy.  So to see them, so grown up, talking about their school experiences and living life, is beyond a dream.  It's truly answers to prayer.  God has once again shown us, He is in control. 

Who needs training wheels!

While we were camping with friends they said they had the same bike as Macy except in pink.  Their daughter has since outgrown it so it was just in their barn.  I told them I wanted to buy it.  She brought it over yesterday.  Leah was busy transferring training wheels to Brooke's new bike, my friend Missi and I were standing outside talking and Macy goes cruising by, on Brooke's old bike, no training wheels.  WHAT!!!!  No troubles, no questions, no "HOLD ONTO ME!"  It was like, "see ya!"  So fun!   So of course at night we had to go to Grandpa and Grandma Koemans to show off the new talent and borrow their huge driveway. 

When Brooke was in the hospital, Steve called me once because Ash had learned to ride a 2 wheeler.  He took tons of pictures and sent them to me.  Being selfish, I cried.  "How could she learn to do this without me?"   Sounds silly I know but I like seeing the 1st.  It's such a huge milestone.  So of course, I was super excited to see Macy flying around. (and I mean flying.  On one of the videos I took you can hear grandma in the background, "slow down little girl"  hehe)
When Steve saw her, he said he knew she could, but he didn't want to take them off and then Brooke would think she had to try.  Brooke heard us and said, "NO WAY  I'm NEVER taking my training wheels off!"  There was that question answered. 

Way to Go MACY!!!!

 These are just a couple random pics.  The twins still enjoy the sleepy Burley ride.  I like it too :)  They are counting the sleeps til they go to school!!!  Oh boy!!!  So excited!!
The two below found every puddle at grandpa and grandma's house.  At one point they were laying in the puddles.  Really?!?!  Aren't any prissy girls around here.  I'm happy that grandpa and grandma are such good sports with all these kids. 

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

It's like summer never happened!  We got up yesterday and fell right back into routine.  No squabbles, no bumps, nothing.  Strange!!!  The girls were excited.  A new year, new teachers.  Who knows what the future holds.  As a mom, it was ok.  It's about time I got my butt out of bed before 7:30 :)  I will miss my girls.  But no one wants me to home school them.  So here we go.

The twins don't start school til next week.  So that helps.  That could hurt a little :(  The first day I get to go with them.  After, I'm not invited.  But they are excited and its the next step in life. 

The twins are enjoying this week of getting to play with whatever they want, going away with just mom, hanging out with grandma.  It's like a little vacation.  Every night they say, "what are we doing tomorrow mom?"  Too fun!

 

Brooke's been to a couple specialists so far.  We went to the surgeon and discussed her feeding tube.  It seems to cause her pain.  She'll be walking, playing, having a great time and then she'll double over, grab her feeding tube and cry, "my button, my button." It obviously hurts.  Then MD said, "those are unusual symptoms, never had that before."  Go figure.  We put in a different feeding tube and we'll see if that's more comfortable.  If not, we'll have it taken out. Wait and see.

Then we went to G.I. (stomach MD).  She still has the diarrhea problem.  From what we read about SCIDS it could just be part of her.  With a low immune system that effects your GI track.  They ran all the stool studies and all looked good.   That helps us, because we can now give her meds as we need to and not worry we are messing up her system.  I'm planning to try some probiotics.  If that doesn't help we can always use Imodium. 

So far that's all for the specialists.  We have 4 more appointments coming up.  Excited to see her progress in life.