"how much more can the Koeman's take?" "what's next?"

Those were questions asked when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I said "don't say that!" I'm not superstitious but why open up any doors for more "issues." WELL, we've been super busy! Haven't even looked at a computer, unless it's work related, for 3+ days. Sunday Steve called me at work. There was "the tone." Brooke had been "assisted" upstairs at grandma's to play with her sisters. However, sneaky Brooke went her own way, right down the steps!!!!!!! It sounds like she may have made it 1/2 down on her butt before rolling down the rest. Steve was mortified but Brooke had calmed down and was ok. On Monday yet she wasn't using her rt leg. Our sitter Dawn, also said, "somethings wrong." She just wasn't herself. So off to Spectrum for 6 hour visit in the ER. They found "residual deformity related to trauma." amongst many other things. One of the three orthopaedic MD she saw said she had old stress fractures and osteopenia. WHAT!?! Why? Her bones are weak is the bottom line. So her leg is in a splint and we hope to see orthopaedic MD next week. When is this going to stop! I have had enough and I'm done. I was mad last night! I'm sick of my dates with my husband being at Spectrum (cafeteria food is not that great.) I'm sick of just getting my arms around 1 diagnosis only to find another diagnosis. My arms aren't big enough for any more diagnosis! I told God, "I'm waving the white flag! I surrender!" My calm husband said, "at least we found this out. Now we can go to ortho and find out what we need to do." In my anger I said, "then what! WHAT'S NEXT?" He said so calmly, "don't say that. We get up in the morning and do it again. And the next morning we do it again. We just keep going." Such a simple philosophy but sometimes so hard! I have no desire to lay in bed and let the world go by, I just want my daughter to stop having to suffer. I don't want anyone's child to suffer. I still long for the day when they say, "alright Shell, she's all set. Go ahead and show her off to the world!" But she's not a car so that probably won't happen :) Instead we will keep her home, and I'm thinking wrap her with bubble wrap (kidding). We had a talk with the girls about being gentle with her and then I caught Macy sitting on her tonight. SOOOO, I can stress about this (which I have for the past day) but now it's time to release it back to God where it belongs. So it's His! She is His! He is our great protector and provider. He won't give us more than we can handle. As much as a padded room and group therapy sounds tempting :) I'll stay here at the Koeman compound and take care of my chica's. I am so blessed to have a babysitter and mom that did my laundry and picked up my house (thanks mom and Dawn), a mother in law that went with Leah to her orchestra concert, Mark and Lisa that had a total of 7 kids last night to feed supper and put to bed (they need the therapy now). And friends that show up at 10pm to pick up the pieces of our hearts and prepare us for the next day. We require alot of help, which is very humbling to me. I still like to and want to do things myself, but I've been told lately I'm stubborn. (Yes a family member called ME stubborn, I won't name names :). So thank you all for your help the past few days/weeks/months/years :) Someday life will calm down and I can return the favors. The crazy thing is, I don't want anything to change, except for Brooke to stop hurting. Everything else is ok, fun and experiences of life. God will carry us through and I am so thankful. "His mercies are new every morning." Thank you Jesus!
Oh sweet baby!!

Sometimes you just need some cake :)

The reason I smile! :) That's marker, not lipstick, hehehe