The day! My birthday! This year was different. A different feeling I guess. I started out the beginning of the week, explaining to my family, "It's my birthday week." I got minimal responses and realized, I am the only one that cares about this. Why am I making a big deal out of it? So, there went my fun attitude. I made a cake for the twins over the weekend (their half birthday, needs cake :) so we ate that for a few days.
Yesterday the kids were asking, "what are we doing tomorrow?" I told them, Brooke had an MD appt and then I was going to work. 3 times I heard, "You're working on your birthday?" 3 times I asked them, "did you plan anything for me on my birthday?" They all said, "no." THEN YES I'M WORKING!!! Work likes me, they appreciate me, they smile when I walk in the door. As you can tell, my attitude was less than desirable.
The day went as planned, Brooke had her appointment, all good. Coming home from her appointment I got a call from a man. He's in Florida. Every year I get a call from this sweet man and he says "Happy Birthday" and tells me he loves me and we shoot the breeze for awhile. On Wednesday this sweet man had heart issues was admitted to the hospital, had to have a heart cath and stent. When my mom called, my heart sank. Dad was doing well, but I wasn't there. And I wanted to be there. Be there for my mom, and be there to scold my dad. What was he doing? I need him!! So Wednesday was hard, and sad. I was crying and the twins asked why. I explained what was going on and that I was mad. Mad at health problems, mad a grandpa, just mad, and sad. They said, "you can't be mad at grandpa, he's fine." Because grandpa is always "fine."
When I got to talk to him today, my mood changed. This is the BEST present ever. I felt complete. From there the day got better. Work was great. Kids cleaned the house (that's NEVER happened, I'm thinking my mom called them :), received amazing notes and poems from them girls, and thought, maybe they are going to be ok. I even said to them, "I didn't know you liked me." It sounds strange, but I wonder most days.
I got wonderful messages on social media/text and finished the day laughing the night away with friends. I am blessed! My attitude has changed. At the age of 42, I still needed an attitude adjustment, and a reality check I guess.
My dad thanked me today for not yelling at him about the "heart incident." It wasn't and incident it was a heart attack. When I heard his voice, I couldn't yell at him. I cried and my heart is so full. Like anyone, we always need more time. More time to love and learn. Once my dad finds out I blogged about this I may be in trouble, but I'll take the risk. He's a good man, they are a great couple. And I am thankful 42 years ago, they allowed me to come to their party!!
