Who would've thunk!

 Tonight was our Christmas program at church.  It was the twins 1st program, and I realized it was the 1st time Steve and I had been to this particular service at our church.  Since Brooke didn't go to church we would alternate Sundays that we'd attend.  Sometimes we'd just stay home.  It was hard not to go together. 

Tonight we sat in church with both of our parents and Miss Dawn.  It was a candle light service, so it was dim.  The shortest kid there, was our's.  And the tall kids, were ours :)  The kids started singing and there was this LOUD, SHOUTING child giving it her all.  I laughed and laughed, then the tears started coming.  She was doing it!!!  She was there!  Miss Dawn leaned over, crying as well, and said, "she's up there!"  Brookie was so so proud of herself.  She had been practicing those songs for weeks (ask any of us, we've heard them :)  I assumed she'd be more shy when she got in front of people, but she was not.  She gave it her gusto!!!  Sometimes the smallest one's have something to prove!!

The rest of the girls did amazing as well!!!  Macy had those motions down, but she was looking for the older ones every once in awhile.  Needed the comfort of her older sisters :)  Megan and Ash weren't super excited about it (they thought they were too old)  but you are never too old to glorify our Lord!  And they smiled and did just that.  Leah volunteered to help out with the younger kids.  I said to Steve, I just got the best Christmas Present.  All 5 kids in the program!  Steve said, "I didn't think I'd ever see this day."  We are blessed by the best gift ever!  Children! 

I do have to add, Brooke continued to sing all night.  "A rat a tat tat, and a thump thump thump, Noah built a great big ark. Get on the ark is gonna rain, here come the animals to bite you."

 

Steve and I were like, "What did you say?"  So she sang it again.  We then asked her, "Isn't it, here come the animals 2 by 2?"  Nope, TOO BITE YOU!  Oh brother, we have work to do. 

And yes, the twins have matching dresses. Leah told me it was ok as long as she didn't have to match them :)  They still think it's cool so I'm going to enjoy it for a little longer.

Merry Christmas!  Hug your family, Love them, and don't get caught up in the worldly version of Christmas.  It's so much more!  What an amazing celebration of Life, Peace and Joy! God is SOOOO SOOOO Good!!

Parenthood

There is a tv Steve and I like. Parenthood.  It's about families and their lives.  Last night had many "issues" going on, as usual.  Steve and I were zoned in on 1 circumstance.  A mother of 3 has cancer.  And due to her chemo she had a bad infection and was in ICU on Christmas eve.  They told her husband she might not make it. He cried, asking God not to take her.  (That's the short version).  Steve and I sat there intently watching, I had tears streaming down my face and Brooke just STARRED at me.  You could tell she wanted to say, "what is your problem?"  
Steve laughed at her.  We talked about if she'll ever understand the magnitude of emotions we have because of her.  Will she ever understand 4 years ago, Christmas eve we uttered those same words to God.  Do we want her to understand?  She already thinks she's a princess, that information may not help the situation :)
But that's the past.  We are happy it's not now and thankful we have that situation to build off of who we are today.
Still have the stomach flu flying around this house.  I must admit my sympathy meter is getting low.  Most of my girls are not really whiny when they are sick, so that's good. It appears the last kid has it today, so hopefully we'll be good to go by tomorrow.
Brooke tends to hold onto the symptoms longer.  She is no longer dry heaving, but the other end is flowing quit freely.  We've gone WEEKS+ backwards on the feeding.  We are thankful she still has the button because it's gotten good use this week.  We were down to 2 feedings a day, but now we are back up to anything we can get in her. For some reason she will only eat ham right now (I assume it's the salt content she likes).  Maybe we'll try some bacon today.  However, she acts ok.  That's the main thing :)

(Notice there is no picture of Leah.  I was worried she would never talk to me again hehe,)

(These 2 are acting well.  Wild and crazy as always :)

 

Blessings to everyone!  Christmas is just around the corner.  Have a great time enjoying each other and remembering the reason we all gather together.  If you get annoyed with the parties/people and are too busy, please take time to be thankful you have people to get together with and love. 

A "peace" of tranquility........

 Tuesday night, I tucked in the girls.  There were MANY tears.  And the conclusion was, "mom never goes away for more than a night."  Megan was certain she was going to not get up for school, and a couple were wondering what they were going to eat.  I think they all forgot they have a VERY capable dad.  Steve just said, "go, have fun and relax."
Wednesday morning we were off!  Myself and 2 friends, left to Florida.  (I laughed because when I saw this picture I said, "I look like a banana."  When Steve saw the picture he said, "you look like a banana."  HELP we are thinking alike :)

Our car!  Yes a car! No minivan  for a few days.  I must say we didn't even get lost.  Maybe a few wrong turns but not actually lost :)

 

 Oh the view!  I called my mom one morning and said, "I am sitting on your lanai, drinking coffee and doing devotions.  I think I am in heaven!"  She agreed, it's a place of peace.

This is for my brother :)  We have an addiction to this juice in Florida.  We use to ship it home (before all the crazy regulations)  It's amazing, better than dessert

 Another favorite!  I LOVE crab!  It was not quite as much fun eating it without Steve laughing at me the whole time, but it was still good.  It just like melts in your mouth.

 A friend I found.  It looks like a worm and was the size of a worm but it was a black snake with an orange ring around it's head.  I'm easily entertained :)

 Another friend!

 What I came home too.  Our joke is every time I leave (even for a night) someone pukes.  Well, Missi and I decided Saturday we didn't want to catch the early am flight home (too early, we wanted to sleep)  So we caught the 6pm flight home.  It appears by 3:30p Steve had 2 girls vomiting (well Brooke was trying).  Oh boy!   What a man!  It was a rough night for Macy but I was glad I got to be here for her.  And she's appearing feistier. 

 As I put girls to bed last night Megan said, "you are not allowed to leave again. We need you."  Macy told me today, "Megan picked up everything around here, because no one else wanted too."  Ahhhh the truth. 

Brooke's comment was, "I had fun while you are gone.  You can go away again." 

 

It was so nice to be wanted, but it was also so nice to know the one I thought needed me, is doing ok without me.  It was amazing to rest, relax.  What a gift from my family and God. Blessed!!!

Plead insanity...........

Ever have a day where you sit down at night and think, "oh boy what did I do?"   That was me today.  I emailed the MD at Spectrum because Brooke still has her cold.  She finished her antibiotics and she is still coughing at night, complaining her eye hurts and has enough snot to fill a small pond.  I knew in my mind what needed to be done.  Prescribe Omnicef, that's what always works.  His response was to have Brooke see her pediatrician.  I am not opposed to this BUT her pediatrician has not seen her in like 4 years.  So I just felt this was unfair to him.  I know what she needs, right? 
To make a long story short there were many phone calls, I ended up crying (because that's the stable thing to do), and she is going to see her pediatrician tomorrow morning.  (what a wonderful, generous man.)
When I read my devotional it said, "when you are feeling down, it's because you aren't looking up."  It went on to say you are spending too much time looking at your situation and not enough time looking at God.  Well, that's hitting the nail on the head.  Kinda knocks out my insanity plea.  So, I am not insane, but I am guilty of being out of focus.  I have been quite intent on focusing on our "situation."  Brooke's feeding issues take alot of time.  The MD asked me today how she is eating.  I laughed right at him.  (again not kind)  My kid has a feeding tube and we spend hours a day feeding her.  So it seemed like a funny question. 
So after sometime of thinking about my day: we have come a long ways in 4 years.  Am I really complaining and worried about a sinus infection?  I should, and am, ashamed of myself!!  And the feeding...........it's a heck of a lot better than everyday, all day, feeding therapy.  Brooke's a normal, little 4 year old, with a cold.   PRAISE the LORD!!!  A few years ago we didn't know if that'd ever happen.  And she's going to her pediatrician, aka: Macy's doctor.
My day is now looking much brighter :)  These ladies bring so much joy to our lives.

 

2 Corinthians 4:8

⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair

2 Corinthians 4:18

¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I've noticed that I haven't updated the blog.  I've had all these blogs floating through my head but no time to write them.  So, I'll leave those thoughts for another day and just update you on the Koeman life. 

Since the last post my dad and brother came to the rescue and helped put in the dog fence. Now he is safe (unless the batteries die in the collar) and, hopefully, the neighbors chickens can breath a sigh of relief.

After over an hour my dad was less than impressed with our clay ground.  Not so easy to cut through.  So I got to use the edger to "help."  The girls were not happy with my crooked lines.  I kept hearing, "grandpa does his straight."  Whatever!!  Uncle Brent came as well to help, he was so gracious to give all his helpers a job.  Grandma was in the house occuping the twins.  Also not an easy task (oh and she did laundry and cleaned up)  I am SOOOOOO  Thankful and Greatful for this family!!!

Harvest has wrapped up!  Praise the Lord!  It got quite muddy out there and there was 1 day of a grumpy farmer (which is actually really good :)   The decision was made to buy tracks to get through the mud easier, and every one was happier. We do still have mud all over,  the boots, the van, it just keeps popping up.  All in all, with the extremely dry weather this year, it was ok.  Not a "bumper crop" but not devastation either.  Unfortunately Steve still has ALOT of work to do.  So we ask he be home in the evening.  From there he can work all he wants.  The 3 older girls do well, but the twins get a little crazy with the 1 parenting.  And with the older girls school and social schedules it's nice to have an extra set of hands occasionally.

This is a picture we took for Steve before Brooke had her CAT scan.  It appears Brooke's head is growing faster than her body.  (I told them they should measure her feet, those things are REALLY growing.)  I am happy they ordered the CAT scan because it just put alot fears at rest.  Steve and I always do those things together but it went fine.  Steve just said he felt funny sitting in a combine when Brooke was having tests.  Anyway, the tests turned out normal, for Brooke.  Define: "normal."  Brain growth was normal and no tumors.  That's what's important to us.  She did have a sinus and ear infection (which Steve and I already guessed).  After a round of antibiotics we are good to go.

The same day as the CAT scan we did all the immune studies and blood work.  Her growth hormone was low.  Even with the growth hormone we are giving her.  So we increased that dose.  We have all resorted to the fact that she will be on this til she no longer needs to grow.  Leah and Steve can give it as well.  (Steve doesn't like to so he prefers Leah or I do it :)

Immune studies. I got all the numbers and grafts back.  And there, once again, aren't any real changes.  So I called the MD and said, I know the numbers, I want your GUT reaction.  I want opinions, not facts.  He said, since nothing has changed in approx 1 1/2 - 2 years, this just may be the immune system that works for Brooke.  He stated of the other MD's he's talked to around the world, there are a few kids that do ok with this.  Brooke has not gotten anything terrible and the few cells she has, react well when they test them against virus'.   I said, "does she make you nervous?"  (I like to know, because then I know if I should be worried)  He just said, "She's done well, but you have our number if somethings not right."  We did however, get her off her last medicine, Dapsone.  YEAH!   So she only has the growth hormone.  The MD said, if she has any dry cough or irregular breathing to call him.  Steve and I laugh, he means worse than she already has?  We plan for the future to do pulmonary function testing, that will tell us how well her lungs actually are.  But we aren't sure on the age she needs to be for that.  Something else to check into.

Her body did not react to the varivax (chicken pox vaccine) given.  So we will try that in a few months again. Approx 20% "normal" kids that get this vaccine don't react, so we'll just try again.  They just said if she's exposed to chicken pox we need to call them right away. 

Onto feeding.........I got ahold of a dietitian at Spectrum and got her the feeding logs.  She called and said, "wow she's doing well, I'm so happy you don't need the intensive feeding clinic."  She also said that she knows, Miss Nora, our out patient therapist, and how she likes her.  It was just reaffirming we aren't making the wrong decision.  Brooke is making progress.  We are down to 2 feedings a day.  She is trying many different foods, our problem is quantity.  So my mind set for buying groceries has changed.  This morning I made scrambles eggs with half and half cream and butter.  It's funny to watch Steve and the girls stand in front of the fridge staring at the vitamin D milk.  As I tell them, "don't you DARE touch it!"  We have always been hearty eaters at the Koeman's, so I usually go for a happy medium.  But now with Brooke we are going high calorie.  I love cooking and baking so it works fine, but I did tell Steve I will not buy him bigger pants :)  hehe

 Someone, who I recently met, asked about Brooke's story.  I told her the mini version and she asked, "why don't you keep her home?" She said, "I'm not sure my heart could handle taking her out."  I like the questions, it's a different perspective and conversation starters.  I told Steve about the conversation and he said, "we promised her a "normal" life and this is our attempt at it."  I had another friend say she doesn't think of her as having anything wrong with her. That's our goal.  For her just to live her life.  Trust me, she fights with her sisters just like any other kid.

 That's it for the Koeman's.  The last pictures are of our Sunday afternoon walk.  It's fun to see what the girls can find.  Steve was teaching them to skip rocks.  Leah had an 8+ skipper!  (We are easily entertained :)  Happy fall!  Enjoy God's creation (and don't forget to thank Him!)

 

Ficken Chicken

We've had our dog now 6 months.  I have to admit I am just as attached (if not more) than the kids.  It's just mild mannered (most of the time he is a puppy).  I have on occasion let him in the house to hang out with me.  However he has this habit of wandering.  Our goal is to get an under ground fence in, but my husband has never "found the time."  (he likes to procrastinate :) 
This morning after the kids and Steve were gone, I let the dog out of his cage to go to the bathroom.  I went inside and checked on him periodically.  Usually if you yell his name, he comes a running.  Well, it had been an hour and still no Jack.  I kept thinking, "if Ashley comes home and there is no dog, I am dead!"  So I call the neighbors, I go to the neighbors houses, I look around, I drive around, NO DOG!  I called my mom (not that she could fix anything being 20 minutes away, it's just something I do :), I called Steve (again he couldn't fix it :)  We had some errands to run, so we left the back door open to the garage and we left.  I prayed numerous times he'd come back but I was prepared that he wouldn't. 
When we got home, guess who came trotting out the garage.  JACK!!!! Oh so happy we all were!!We instantly tied him up.  Macy asked him, "where did you go?"  Brooke said, "don't leave again unless you tell us where you are going?"  hehe
So with everyone where they needed to be I called the neighbors to tell them I found the dog.  I put out the flags for the underground fence and my neighbor lady told me how to start training him.  When the girls got home from school we watched the video that came with the fence and we started training.  As the night goes on, Ash comes running into the house, "MOM THERE'S A CHICKEN UNDER OUR BUSH! JACK WAS MESSING WITH HIM."  Sure enough there is a wounded chicken under our bush.  So I call our neighbors that have chickens, their son comes over and retrieves his wounded chicken.  He said, "it has bite marks in it."  Broke my heart!!!  His mom was so kind saying, "maybe the chicken walked across the field."   Or MAYBE my DOG went and STOLE a CHICKEN!!!
It appears the chicken is going to be ok.  We apologized to the neighbors and pray they still like us.  And the dog shall remain under close watch until the fence is in (hopefully Saturday) and he is properly trained. 

                                        The Jail Bird :)  Good thing he's cute!!   He looks so sad!  He's a springer spaniel (bird dog) and lab retriever (he retrieved his bird)  I am making excuses for his actions :)

 

Oh for the sake of the chickens!!

Feeding joy :)

I was talking to a friend a week or so ago and we were discussing the feeding guru's.  She said, "you want me to go with, I will!"  I thought about it and laughed and said we would be good, but it would be fun if she came with :)
Today we trudged to GR.  First stop was feeding clinic with Miss Nora.  I brought our 6 pages of Brooke's feeding diary.  Everything she had eaten in 6 days.  It was pretty impressive. She's been eating so well that we have been doing 2 tube feedings a day instead of 4. Her therapist was so proud of her!! We've gone from crying and tantrums to progress!! Today she ate fruit cocktail.  (something new again)
On to the see the NP at neuro-developmental. They did her ht, wt, head circumference.  Then I gave the NP her food diary (the diary Brooke and I are very proud of).  Her response was "she needs to eat more fruits and vegetables. This is a start but there's a long way to go."  I thought of my friend at this point.  I should've brought her, she'd tell her what I'm thinking!!!  That thought made me smile and I decided Brooke and I are not going to lose our joy over this amazing accomplishment.  I tried a few times to interject my opinion, but she really wants Brooke to have 5 meals a day, no more than 20 minutes at a feeding, more fruits and veggies, more pediasure.  She then asked if we were going to proceed with the intensive feeding clinic on Dec 17.  I told her no.  She said we would be taken off the list, they could not hold her a place and they would no longer see Brooke at the neuro-developmental center.  So I'd have to have her PCP order her tube feeding things.  She then said they could see Brooke 1 more time to see how she progresses.  I smiled and nodded my head.  Her exact words were, "I strongly feel if you don't do this her feeding will falter."

Falter:

a. To move ineptly or haltingly; stumble.

b. To operate or perform unsteadily or with a loss of effectiveness

I was hung up for a short while on the word "falter."  I initially was thinking "fail."  But it partly means to stumble.  I will be the first to admit we will and have stumbled.  It's ok, the good Lord picks us up every time.  The other part, loss of effectiveness.  I disagree.  Effectiveness is in the eye of the beholder.  We will be effective.  I can fatten up anyone :)  We will not lose joy or hope!!! 

Prayer has brought us this far.  We asked a year ago for prayers that Brooke didn't have to go to this intensive feeding clinic.  She went from not eating to eating meals, trying new things.  Does she fulfill every food group.  Nope, not sure I know anyone that does.  My grandparents were telling us about soaking up bacon grease with bread and eating it.  They are in their 80's :)  I don't think that is on the food pyramid and it has served them well. 

I don't want you to think bad of this NP. I honestly believe we just have different ways of getting from point A to point B. And I assume we have the same personality that thinks our own way is right :) I don't know if my way is right. I know we are making progress, and I like that, so we are going to continue. God has given us peace that this is the right direction. 

I did get the pleasure of seeing a NP we know and LOVED when we were inpatient.  When Brooke came out of surgery with her feeding tube, I officially lost it.  Seeing her little body with all her other issues and then a feeding tube, was more than I could take emotionally.  This kind NP told us, "she won't go to school with a feeding tube.  She will eat."  I have uttered those words to Brooke many times.   She came to see us numerous times while we were inpatient. She was so kind and practical.   It was so fun to see her smiling face.  There is always a positive.

So, our plan, as in Steve and I, is that we are going to continue to feed her and have patience. We will go to out patient therapy once a week.  We will encourage her and love her (as well as the rest of the girls) and we will continue to let the Lord lead us on this amazing journey. 

A couple hours at the Koeman's (minus the soccer and volleyball)

6:00p start eating supper.  6:35 convince Brooke to take her 1st bite. 7:00p Brooke is done eating.  PRAISE THE LORD!

7:00p Ash gets a bedtime snack.  7:30 Ash is complaining she doesn't want to go to bed, because she HATES getting up in the morning, so if she stays up all night, then she won't have to get up in the morning (rational thinking).
Every 10 minutes since 5pm Macy is asking to eat, supper, snacks, candy. Even while she is eating she is asking for something different. (something she does when she's tired)

FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD!!!  GRRRRRRRRRR!  You have to understand this whole food/feeding thing didn't happen to a health nut who eats 3 meals a day, and incorporates all her fruits and veggies.  This happened to me, who, if I had my way, would survive off coffee and candy.  But, I know this happened for a reason.  Woman cannot live off coffee and candy alone (but I'd like to try).  I must change my ways.

In all seriousness, Brooke ate a partial supper in an hour.  That is great!!!  She is doing well!  I got a call from the Intensive feeding therapy last week.  They said her admission date is December 17.  They were planning to call and verify with insurance.  I said, "yeah about that?!?!"  So the twins and I trudge to the combine to speak to Steve in his office.  We came to the same conclusion.   1 year ago, when Brooke was evaluated for this feeding clinic, she was eating NOTHING and very angry about it.  Now she is making progress.  She has a pretty wide range of food she will eat.  Sometimes it takes more coaching than others.  So we have to go talk to the feeding therapy guru on October 23. 
I also talked to our outpatient feeding therapist that we see weekly.  She agreed to wait on the intensive clinic.  She said, if by summer we have made no progress or are going backwards we can discuss it then, but Brooke is making so much progress now.  Let's keep doing what works!

We are also hopeful that Brooke will get off her last medication (yes I said last) the end of October.  I have weaned her off all her meds, with the exception of 1 (which, I must confess I did take her off, but then felt guilty and emailed the MD to tell him.  My actions were strongly frowned upon and she's back on the med.  Can't blame me for trying :)  When she was off all meds she ate well.  She is still tube fed, because at the rate she is growing on the growth hormone, she can't keep up with the caloric need.  But we are making progress. 
                                          FALL FUN, PICKING GRANDPA'S PUMPKINS

I have been reading a book on Grace.  It's been fitting. I must be honest, I didn't think I would get so much out of it. God's grace is constant and aggressive.  It comes over us wave after wave.  It protects us.  It surrounds us. It loves us.  We just need God's Grace.

Matthew 11:28 Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

Because of His constant Grace and love I want to get up every morning and do this again.  You never know what wonderful surprises the day has to offer. 

Walking, walking, walking

This weekend was the Breast cancer walk in Grandville. We have participated for many years.  This year I was suppose to work, and the kids had soccer games, Leah had activities.  I felt terrible telling my mom, I just couldn't swing it.  It's such an amazing cause, and we all enjoy the time together.  However my mom and her friend came up with another idea. 
                                                                  A Prayer Walk

These are the people that participated.  They started at their church and walked down the road, praying for people that are ill, elderly, pregnant, family problems and anyone that needs the prayers, (which is everyone)  I LOVE IT!  What an amazing idea and so easy for anyone to do.  There are walks for everything, which I am not knocking, they are good causes that raise lots of money.  I could be walking every weekend.  This way you can cover so many loved ones, and lift them up to the Ultimate Healer.  Wow, what an amazing testimony.  To God be the Glory.

Pack Rat

I have not been known to be a pack rat.  I actually have a better reputation for throwing everything away.  With 7 people in this house, my way of cleaning is the trash can :)  So with the kids in school, I headed to the basement to "clean" with my trash bags.  (their rooms are next blahahahah).  Anyway, while downstairs I got side tracked and found where my problem lies, pictures.  I can look at them for hours and reminisce and laugh.  They just make me smile.  Here's a few that I found.  I didn't ask permission to post these, but since they are all family they can't disown me.

 

This is my husband!  You think he can still do this?  I bet if ya catch him on a good day he'd try.

This is my mom!  She was beautiful then and she is beautiful now! I just want to squeeze her!

 My grandpa and grandma Brouwer.  I LOVE people's wedding pictures.  I think everyone should keep a wedding picture up forever.  It's the beginning of their story.

 This is my grandpa and grandma Baumann.  I did not know my grandpa but I've heard lots of stories and when I see his picture and his smile, I see my dad.  And I just imagine the amazing man that he was.

 Last but not least.  Not sure this needs explanation.  I obviously don't remember this, but it makes me smile. 

So, I am not attached to "stuff" but if someone took my pictures away, I'd be sad. There are so many stories to be told. 

Rest for the soul

This week I was holding and rocking a sleeping baby and talking to my mom on the phone.  I was telling her how I so wanted to do a bible study on Wednesday mornings this year, but I am not finding the time.  Between all the girls activities, school, work, MD appts, therapy appointments, I am spread to thin (that's not even to mention the house up keep).  As I was talking to her I was LOVING this baby, smells so sweet, fits in my arms so well :)  My mom said, you are doing God's work right now.  This is what you are meant to do, today. (Oh BOY do I LOVE this work :)  My season for formal bible studies will come.  For now, I will spend whatever time God gives me to worship and study His word, where ever I am at that given moment. 

As the week went on the I went from task to task.  My devotions Friday was a woman talking about the sabbath.  She stated she was pulling an all nighter trying to meet a deadline.  Whenever she opened the Bible it talked about the sabbath, how God made it for rest.  She disregarded it and later talked to a friend who opened her eyes.  The sabbath isn't just a "day" of rest, but it's when your soul needs rest.  It may not be on your Sunday, it may be when you've had enough and need to regroup your soul.  I thought, "awe nice, devotion.  Now onto my day." 
I don't feel I over booked myself, because I don't know how else to do it and I enjoy being busy. (A lady at work told me I need a wife to cook, clean, laundry, etc. I thought that was funny :)  Anyway, I headed to Brooke's feeding therapy (which she ROCKED might I add).  On the way there Macy had a "tummy ache"  said in a L O U D, A N N O Y I N G voice, over and over.  Whatever, she was fine at feeding therapy.  Onto grandma blueberries house.  We get there and Macy complains again.  REALLY?  My mom says, no worries, go to work.  So I go to work.  I get through work with only a few texts, "hey mom can we go here after school?"  "if your going to the store don't forget milk, eggs, shaving cream, etc"   yup, yup, I have it all under control.  Racing back to my mom's to get the twins, (because I have to pick up another kid from school) I get a text from my mom.  "I can meet you in town so you don't have to drive out here, and Macy did throw up."  Like it was an after thought to tell me.  (I think she knew I was walking a thin rope:)  I felt so bad.  I felt bad for Macy, because she was sick and I just disregarded it, and for my mom.  She had to deal with it.  My mom said, "it's no problem, we are fine."  I said, "what if you get sick" and she said, "then I get sick. It's ok!" 
So we head out, pick up the rest of our chicka's, go home, put on the comfy pants, and plop my butt on the couch with an adorable little girl and a blanket on my lap.  My devotion kept coming to mind, rest for the soul.  My soul needed to rest, but if I don't stop, it can't.  I stopped.  I rested and remembered what was important again.

I was amazed that my week started and ended with rocking kids.  It brings me peace, it's holding innocence, and unconditional love. What a gift.  I also realized after this week, I want to grow up to be like my mom!  Her kindness and wisdom are always welcomed. 

                 Macy's better!  Even made it to the fair.  She's not feeling bad anymore :)

Full Swing

So here we go.  School has started without too many bumps.  The occasional kid doesn't want to get out of bed, but occasionally the parents don't want to get out of bed.  This was our 1st Saturday of soccer.  Only Ashley had a game, Meg just had pictures this week.  So Steve and Ash left at 8:20 for pictures and a 9am game.  I started about 8:15 to get the twins and Megs up.  You see, the twins don't go to school so they don't have to get up in the am.  They also don't normally take naps, so their 10-12 hours of sleep is precious.  I disturbed the "precious" sleep and it wasn't pleasant.  There was alot of anger towards their mom.  But we finally got them into the van, but the dog decided to go chasing a bird, over the road.  Megan got him, and we are all in the van again.  (minus the dog, he's in his cage). I am racing down our road, when I meet a police man, who had every right to pull me over, but for some reason he had grace.  At which time I get a phone call from my husband who says, "is Meg's team color green?"  Yup!  "They just finished their pictures."  UHGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!   I was not happy, all this running around, yelling, we missed it and she wasn't even playing a game!  I looked at Meg and said, "I am soooo sorry honey."  Which her response was, "what's the big deal, I didn't want pictures anyway.  I'm not upset mom."  Grace!  She gave me Grace!  She made me feel like maybe I wasn't the worse mom in the world. 

Sunday morning, the twins head to children's worship!  AHHHHHH, mom and dad get to listen to the sermon.  He explains how everything originated from man and woman.  Who was the 1st teacher?  Adam and Eve taught their children, 1st hospital: they fixed their cuts and scrapes, they worshiped together, played together etc etc Also how the world gets in the way of our family time.  That was just the tip of an amazing message, but it was a huge part that hit me.  The way my Saturday morning went, I let the world get in the way.  But I was fortunate enough to have a 10 year old who showed me grace and patience.   God is so good!

We will start the week again.  Soccer, volleyball, yada yada.  But I won't let it get in the way of family this time.  Perspective I guess.  Sometimes you have to visualize in your head, what's most important.  GOD - FAMILY   If priorities are straight, the rest will come.

We got to take family pictures today!  Steve does NOT like "posed" pictures.  So to say the least he was "taking one for the team."  He asked me, "what makes you think we have to do this every year?  I don't like this."  My response was simple.  4 years ago a little lady (I won't name names :)  thought she would try and leave this world.  God gave us more time, so now I get to take a posed family picture each year and we are all going to pretend we like it.  He just smiled and said, "you're pathetic."  No arguments there!  I LOVE this Family!!!

It's Back to School

Have you ever thought of how many times you have cried on behalf (or because) of your children.  For some reason that has been the spark of conversation the past few days.  Probably because school started.  I will admit, there were no tears from this lady on the first day of school.  There was a large smile, many pictures and a big wave, C YA LATER LADIES!!!! 

I'm sure that doesn't sound like a compassionate mother, but we were in need of structure.  And we are feeling the love again.  Aren't they cute!!!  First day of school, Looking Good!!!

Anyway, back to my other thought, tears and all the reasons they are cried.
You cry when your children are born..............when they get their first shots..................when they leave for school the first time (sometimes when they move to another school).............when you leave them with a sitter (even if the sitter is grandpa and grandma. I know I have issues).............when they get hurt..............when they get hurt and you aren't there to comfort them.............when they call you at work because they are fighting...........when they slam a door in your face...........when they cry because they miss someone..........when you can't take the hurt away........you want to cry when they take clothes from your closet and then realize the clothes look better on her than you ****sigh****   You get the picture.  I am amazed how someone of various sizes (they range for 3"1' to 5"9" over here) can carry such power. Not all those tears are happy ones.  Some are anger or irritation.  And to think of everything you cry over there are more moments of laughter and smiles. 

 I have the privilege of having the twins home 1 more year.  Over the summer they have really grown up and I was thinking, maybe I should've sent them to preschool.  Then the 1st day of school came.  They got up and said, "what are we going to do today?"  I explained their sisters were at school and they both smiled and said, "We know!"  Stinkers!!  We did have a good day.  It was time everyone had a break from the closeness and venture in our routine again.  Next year I am planning on more tears.  I pretty sure when I send them off, I will have to be alone due to embarrassment of not being able to hold it together :)  But that's a year away.   We'll enjoy the next year and have more laughter than crying, but with 6 ladies in the house, watch out. 

Been awhile since I updated.  I am always busy, but not sure with what. (I think it has something to do with the kids :) We went camping, that's always fun because of the people we go with.

Brooke went to the MD and she is growing, whoo hoo. She is officially on the growth charts. That's a good feeling.
Here is Brooke eating corn on the cob.  We had AMAZING corn from my grandpa.  Brooke ate it for 2 nights and then cried when it was gone.  Sometimes I wish I could get in her brain to see what she actually thinks about food.  I am confused!

 We had the privilege of going horse back riding with friends.  Our friends daughter was engaged. (now she's married) Our plan, with this gaggle of girls, was to have some sort of bridal shower when they get engaged.  Well, because us mom's are so young and fun, hehe,  and playing silly games wasn't on our list of fun this summer, our friend Missi decided horseback riding was the fun of choice.  And it was fun!  No one got hurt, we laughed and we got to wear really cool hats.

 These are some of my friends :)  Me, Tricia and Missi.  A long long time ago, Steve and I were dating.  Phil and Tricia were married.  They had a baby and Steve asked if I wanted to go visit them in the hospital.  I said, "sure."  I'm a social person.  Their baby was beautiful!   Tricia, who didn't know me, was all smiles and said, "do you want to hold my baby?"  I actually made Steve hold her :)  That was the beginning of the friendship of the 3 of us.  Our husbands have been friends since their early years of school.  It's amazing and I thank God for bringing us together. 
And look at the little "baby."  She is gorgeous!  We were so blessed to witness their marriage.  Their smiles, laughter and loved SHINED!!!  Congrats Troy and Kelsey!!  May God Bless you and your marriage forever!