Feeding joy :)

I was talking to a friend a week or so ago and we were discussing the feeding guru's.  She said, "you want me to go with, I will!"  I thought about it and laughed and said we would be good, but it would be fun if she came with :)
Today we trudged to GR.  First stop was feeding clinic with Miss Nora.  I brought our 6 pages of Brooke's feeding diary.  Everything she had eaten in 6 days.  It was pretty impressive. She's been eating so well that we have been doing 2 tube feedings a day instead of 4. Her therapist was so proud of her!! We've gone from crying and tantrums to progress!! Today she ate fruit cocktail.  (something new again)
On to the see the NP at neuro-developmental. They did her ht, wt, head circumference.  Then I gave the NP her food diary (the diary Brooke and I are very proud of).  Her response was "she needs to eat more fruits and vegetables. This is a start but there's a long way to go."  I thought of my friend at this point.  I should've brought her, she'd tell her what I'm thinking!!!  That thought made me smile and I decided Brooke and I are not going to lose our joy over this amazing accomplishment.  I tried a few times to interject my opinion, but she really wants Brooke to have 5 meals a day, no more than 20 minutes at a feeding, more fruits and veggies, more pediasure.  She then asked if we were going to proceed with the intensive feeding clinic on Dec 17.  I told her no.  She said we would be taken off the list, they could not hold her a place and they would no longer see Brooke at the neuro-developmental center.  So I'd have to have her PCP order her tube feeding things.  She then said they could see Brooke 1 more time to see how she progresses.  I smiled and nodded my head.  Her exact words were, "I strongly feel if you don't do this her feeding will falter."

Falter:

a. To move ineptly or haltingly; stumble.

b. To operate or perform unsteadily or with a loss of effectiveness

I was hung up for a short while on the word "falter."  I initially was thinking "fail."  But it partly means to stumble.  I will be the first to admit we will and have stumbled.  It's ok, the good Lord picks us up every time.  The other part, loss of effectiveness.  I disagree.  Effectiveness is in the eye of the beholder.  We will be effective.  I can fatten up anyone :)  We will not lose joy or hope!!! 

Prayer has brought us this far.  We asked a year ago for prayers that Brooke didn't have to go to this intensive feeding clinic.  She went from not eating to eating meals, trying new things.  Does she fulfill every food group.  Nope, not sure I know anyone that does.  My grandparents were telling us about soaking up bacon grease with bread and eating it.  They are in their 80's :)  I don't think that is on the food pyramid and it has served them well. 

I don't want you to think bad of this NP. I honestly believe we just have different ways of getting from point A to point B. And I assume we have the same personality that thinks our own way is right :) I don't know if my way is right. I know we are making progress, and I like that, so we are going to continue. God has given us peace that this is the right direction. 

I did get the pleasure of seeing a NP we know and LOVED when we were inpatient.  When Brooke came out of surgery with her feeding tube, I officially lost it.  Seeing her little body with all her other issues and then a feeding tube, was more than I could take emotionally.  This kind NP told us, "she won't go to school with a feeding tube.  She will eat."  I have uttered those words to Brooke many times.   She came to see us numerous times while we were inpatient. She was so kind and practical.   It was so fun to see her smiling face.  There is always a positive.

So, our plan, as in Steve and I, is that we are going to continue to feed her and have patience. We will go to out patient therapy once a week.  We will encourage her and love her (as well as the rest of the girls) and we will continue to let the Lord lead us on this amazing journey.