Rant

I must rant and rave once more. I am sure you are all getting sick of hearing about feeding issues. Thus am I! Yesterday we went to feeding clinic. I had low expectations. Why get my hopes up right? Brooke brought "her" food and Leah and I snuck in yogurt because the therapist said she had to try something challenging. So, we get there, and we all went in to have a "picnic." It actually went GREAT! Brooke ate the yogurt she was required to, she let me feed her and then she ate most of a pancake. I was floating I was so excited!!! So supper time came. I figured, "let's do this!" The kid would not do ANYTHING! She got ice cream taken away because she wouldn't take a few bites of potato's. She screamed at me, she spit at me (yes I said spit). So we told her when she ate it, she could have ice cream. I stood and did dishes last night and had all I could do not to cry. Steve would look at me and I'd shake me head and he'd walk away. So, once I regained my composure (and kids were in bed) I was once again, physically and mentally exhausted about food. It's all so dumb! Steve is so sweet and supportive but we both agree, this sucks.

Morning comes, Brooke gets up, walks to the counter and said, "where are my potato's?" I said I threw them away and we were going to start over today. She said, "good idea." Really!?!?! The only thought that continues to run through my head is, "She Won!" I was out smarted, AGAIN, by a 4 year old. I left for work, Ashley said, "what do we feed her." I said, "I am at work, don't tell me what you eat and I won't know." So I am sure they ate junk all morning, but at supper I told her, she had to eat her bites or she couldn't leave the table. That went better. She did eat. I am realizing she does not want to eat casseroles, noodles, rice. It's usually fruit and bread. So, I guess we just keep trying. I will try to no longer cry over my dishes and we will start new every day. "His mercies are new every morning!" Praise the Lord!

The one good thing out of this, is the girls have STRICT instructions they may not complain about what we eat. (Someone is always complaining about gross food at our house) So it's fun to see how they are getting creative about their dislikes. They are troopers. We haven't weighed Brooked yet, (next week) so we hope to then figure out if the tube feedings and small appetite are sustaining her growth. I hope so because I really don't want to increase her tube feedings. But we are all aware its not in our control. What ever is best for Miss Brooke will be done. Thanks for listening :)